WEEK 25 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - The Fitness Mom

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 25, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 22 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
 
From now on, take comfort in the fact that baby is going to put on more and more weight.  And birth weight is always associated with viability of a preterm baby (Read more about viability in Week 24).  Of course we are still heading towards fullterm, but we also know that our pregnancy is a high risk one. 

You are probably piling on some, too. Weight, that is. If you were a fitness freak who thought you could kickbox your way through to birth day, you may have been sorely disappointed when you were diagnosed with an incompetent cervix as you know then it is no longer possible.  Even for those of us who need not go on strict bedrest, high impact exercises are certainly not encouraged.  And for some reason the flab comes on faster than the muscles don't they?  I mean, it took us ages to tone those thighs and arms, but now 6 months into our pregnancy and perhaps bedrest for the last 3 months and there... the clumpy flabby disgusting looking bye bye granny arms and thunder thighs. UGH!!!! 

Fret not!  First of all, we will probably lose all the cellulite (that's what those clumpy looking thing is, and it's made up of water retention due to our pregnancy and of course... lack of exercise) within the first 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding (I lost mine within 3 months as I was producing something like 18oz of breastmilk every 4 to 6 hours - yea they call me COW).  And of course you can go back to the gym after your period of confinement.  Just to encourage you guys, I gained a total of 24kg for my 2nd pregnancy (I was on modified bedrest since cerclage was in at Week 15 all the way till Week 37 when stitch was off and my appetite was GREAT at all times) but lost 27kg within 4 months after given birth all just through breastfeeding. No dieting (if I was eating like a horse during pregnancy, I was eating like 5 horses throughout my 2 year breastfeeding period) and no intensive exercise.

Ok, that's after confinement.  What about now? Surely there are some exercises we can do now, bedrest or not? Furthermore, totally no movement isn't exactly healthy and may cause side effects like deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism.   Here are some exercises which you may safely do even with prescribed bedrest, but DO CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR first, as all our incompetent cervix pregnancies are different.

1. Kegels: Draw the pelvic-floor muscles that surround your vagina up like an elevator climbing up to your belly button, tightening them as if you are stopping the flow of urine; do not squeeze your buttocks. Hold for 10 seconds, breathing normally, then slowly release. Repeat 10-20 times. Benefits Helps you identify, control and strengthen your pelvic-floor muscles; this can help prevent urinary incontinence and speed healing after childbirth.

2. Chest and shoulder opener: Lace your fingers behind your head, opening your elbows wide. Sit tall and lean back slightly, lifting your chest as you breathe deeply until you feel your ribcage expand. Exhale as you draw your elbows down toward your knees and relax. Do five times, building up to 10. Benefits Increases lung capacity, improves posture, stretches the chest and shoulders and makes you feel alert and awake.

3. Ribcage breathing: Grasp your upper torso, spreading your fingers wide along your ribcage. Inhale deeply through your nose (feeling your ribcage expand under your fingers). Exhale through your mouth as you gently draw your belly in and do a Kegel. Do five times, working up to 10. Benefits Strengthens your deep abdominal and pelvic floor muscles; improves breathing and circulation, giving you a boost of energy.

4. Gentle pelvic tilts: Sitting “Indian style,” with knees bent, inhale through your nose as you lift your chest and lengthen your neck, arching your back. Exhale through your mouth as you round your spine, gently tucking your pelvis under, and draw your abs in as you do a Kegel. Return to the starting position and do five times, building up to 10. Benefits Promotes circulation throughout your entire body and gently tones the deep belly muscles, aiding digestion.

5. Upper-body strengthener: Pull your abs in and draw your shoulders back and down as you raise your arms out to the sides at shoulder height and bend your elbows 90 degrees. Inhale, then exhale as you press your arms overhead, squeezing your arm, shoulder and upper back muscles. Keep squeezing as you slowly lower your arms. Repeat 10-15 times. Benefits Increases upper-body strength and stamina (you’ll need these to carry your baby and all her gear!) and improves posture.

6. Lower-leg mobility: Stretch your legs out in front of you and pull your abs in. Roll your ankles clockwise10 times, then switch directions. Next, flex your feet, pointing your toes toward your knees. Repeat 10 times. Benefits Increases lower-leg circulation and helps maintain strength and flexibility.
(Source : http://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/bed-rest-workout)

If you are advised to refrain from even these exercises, then do so.  After all, we are already at this point, and we do want a healthy fullterm baby don't we?

WEEK 24 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - VIABILITY!

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 24, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 22 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
 
REALLY??? We are in Week 24 already? Well, we made it to viability!

Ok, so what is this viability all about? What does it mean? Does it mean my baby will definitely survive if he/she is born now? Does that mean I don't have to restrict my activities anymore and there are no more worries? 

Well, the good news is... Yes, your baby will have a chance for survival if she/he is born now, and if you do go into preterm labour, your doctor will probably take all the necessary steps (do whatever they can) to save the baby.  Before this... well... before this, they may just tell you 'that there is nothing that they can do', which translates to : If your baby is not yet 24 weeks, they will just consider it an unfortunate miscarriage which they can't do anything about.  But now if you do go into preterm labour, they will do everything that they can to save the baby!

 (Source : http://www.mamasaidknockyouup.com/2013/02/fetal-survival-rates-week-to-week.html)

The bad news is... the baby is still terribly premature. 24 weeks is about 6 months... we are still 3 months short, and there is a good reason why nature requires a 9-month period of gestation, not 6.  In fact, in normal pregnancies, these women are told to watch out for signs of preterm labour as from now till Week 37, our babies are still considered premature and will have to be confined to NICU for a while.  

So, NO, viability just means that the doctors may try to save our babies, and our babies have a better chance at surviving and then go on to live happy healthy lives, but that doesn't mean you are off the hooks.  Why take unncessary risk when you can help it? Stay off your feet still - bedrest isn't all that bad (Read Week 23 here).  Ask any mom who have had a premature baby, and you will know the tears and heartache which you will have to go through before your little one can finally go home.  I mean, wouldn't it be a truly happy occassion if your baby can actually latch on and feed off your breasts right after he/she is born and to be able to breathe on his/her own without painful tubes all over them? Both my boys were jaundiced when they were born, and seeing them naked under the phototherapy is painful enough to watch, what more if they have to breathe and feed through tubes.  So ladies.... hang in there.  After all we have made it so far so why take risks?

But on the psychological side, yes, you can mentally relax.  Stop fretting over every single tingle and twitch, and start to enjoy the pregnancy from now onwards.  Enjoy your healthy meals (and those no-so-healthy tub of ice cream and 3 pieces of crunchy deep fried chicken) and enjoy bonding with your little baby who by now is creating a little gymnasium of his/her own in your tummy.  Take comfort in the fact that if the worst happens and the little one is born now, there is at least a 50% chance for survival, unless the previous weeks.  Anxiety is NOT a healthy part of pregnancy, and many believe that it will affect your baby's mental wellbeing as well.  Try to smile more to dear hubby who has been so supportive all these weeks (eventhough some days they may not SEEM to be so TO YOU, but truly, they HAVE BEEN).  Believe me... I know.

This is a good week. And congratulations that you have made it to this date.  Before you knew it, the 3 months would have sailed by and you will have your little bundle of joy in your arms.

WEEK 23 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - COPING WITH BEDREST

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 23, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 21 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
 
I remember my last pregnancy (my 2 and half year old was born April 2012), when I was at 23 weeks around Christmas season.  I was going about my usual Christmas shopping, carolling even with the local choir group, and preparing for the most wondrous time of the year 2011. I am expecting an April baby again, but this time around, things are not as fa-la-la merry.  This is my 3rd cerclage and my obgyn observed during the procedure that my cervix was now badly damaged and there were a lot of scar tissues from the previous cerclages.  Bedrest is no longer an option, but a necessity. 

(yup that was me... the one in pants... only I was allowed to wear pants as I couldn't find  a skirt which fits)

Yes, if all things go well with your preventive cerclage (even if it's a transvaginal cerclage and not a transabdominal one, which most will tell you no bedrest is needed with the latter) then more likely than not, you will be able to go on with your normal activities.  Truly, those websites which tell you that now is probably the time when you feel your best - they are not that far wrong.  The nausea is definitely gone, your little one's kicks and punches are assurances that she is doing well in there, and you are no longer looking like a whale yet.  So yea, you should be feeling well.  But some of us may be feeling the woes of an INCOMPETENT CERVIX pregnancy at its peak now, and there are many reasons for it (do read Week 22 here).

But fret not! SURELY there are some stuff you can do lying down right? Here are some ideas :

1) Read all those novels which you bought at the book fair 3 years ago which are gathering dust on your bookshelf!

2) Entertain your older children with the good ole Monopoly, Scrabble or Snake and Ladder!

3) When was the last time you actually sat down through a 2 hour movie? Well, now is the time!

4) Go ahead, feel beautiful and pampered with a pedicure/manicure session!

5) Start a journal for you little one, you can keep it in a box file together with her/his 1st foot print, congratulatory cards and other momentos for your baby's reference in her/his later years! Or if you wish, start a Facebook account for him/her right now!

6) Write a blog, like what I'm doing now. Or write that novel you have always wanted to. Or that poem, perhaps even that song you have always wanting to write all your life but never found the time to!

7) It's almost Christmas right? Bring out those art and craft stuff (ok, get hubby to dig them out from the store room) and start working on handmade Christmas decor and greeting cards with your older kids!

8) Shopping online anyone? Well, I have no choice but to do that (thank God for technology) for my Christmas shopping this year!  

9) Get chatting in parenting forums, incompetent cervix forums, make friends with other mommies from all around the world who understand what you are going through (you will realise that these strangers understand you more than the 600 'friends' you have in your Facebook friend list)

10) JUST LIE BACK! Relax, stare at nothingness and revel in the fact that you are pregnant, sleep, nap, hum a few Christmas tunes, and remember to thank God and sing praises to Him for all the blessings in your life!

1 more week to viability! HURRAY!

WEEK 20 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - OF REAL FRIENDS AND FAIR WEATHERED ONES

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 20, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 20 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

  WE ARE halfway there! Well, MORE than halfway if we are targetting 37 weeks (where our babies are no longer considered preterm), or better yet (for those of you who are taking it milestone per milestone), we are 4 weeks away from viability!

Exciting as it is, I am sure we are all feeling the same way... that we are NOT THERE until we have a healthy fullterm baby in our arms.  Just that thought is enough to doom our day to another bout of depression.  After all, we have seen that little baby on the ultrasound, sucking her thumb, yawning even, and we even know whether it's a girl or a boy already! Plus those kicks which remind you ever so often throughout the day that he/she is IN there.  But we are not out of the danger zone yet.  Physically, there may be a lot going on (read Week 19 here on vaginal discharge) but emotionally, there is even more to it... simply because nobody around us seems to understand.

We get questions like... "So are you better now?"

Better? What do you mean better? You mean like those people who went in for a heart surgery or a kneecap replacement and now after 6 weeks they are feeling better?  When does it ever get better with a cerclage placement? It doesn't get better!!!! Yes, you just want to shout back at that well meaning person who just asked isn't it?  Baby is getting heavier, putting more pressure on the cerclage. HOW IS THAT BETTER?!!!  The bedrest has stretched to its 6th week now, we are not sure if our bosses are gonna take this any longer, not to mention our bank accounts, how is that better?! We have not carried our toddlers for weeks now, nor have we gone out to have a decent meal, or to shop for Christmas, and we worry every single minute of the day whether the darned stitch would hold up... how is that better?!!! Gosh, don't these people know that it will only be 'better' once our healthy babies are in our arms?!!! Well... they don't. So cut them some slack. Explain to them if you have to, that it doesn't get better. Or ignore them. I hear you. Because I am going through the same thing.

In fact, those well meaning friends are getting fewer by the day, so do treasure those who are still around.  When you have just been freshly discharged from the hospital after the cerclage placement, there were probably so many visitors to the point where you had to stop them from coming as you needed your rest.  Then they trickled down to a few goodfriends and some family members.  And then suddenly on a Saturday evening... you find yourself very much alone.  Perhaps with only dear hubby (please appreciate him, this is the time to do so because he is the only one who is still around to see to your needs, your other children's needs, and put up with your pregnant tantrums!) and your older kids (every now and then, explain to them your situation, and reassure them that you still love them very much, and read to them and play 'I spy with my eye' games as often as possible, plus lots of hugs and kisses!).

This is a fantastic opportunity to also find out who your true friends really are.  They are the ones who will listen to your endless lamentations of having to lie down on your back daily watching tv and update your facebook every 15 minutes and not flinch (I mean, for those who have never bedrested in their lives, what would they give to be in your shoes!!!).  They are also the ones who will bring every meal to you, and wash up after you finish your meals (for me, it's mom in law, who not only brings me delicious healthy home cooked food everyday, but washes up after that, see to my kids and my husband - of course it doesn't hurt that he is mama's boy :) and she does my laundry too!).  I have 600+ 'friends' on my Facebook account, but when  I posted up few days ago about how I wish I had more visitors, only 2 friends (note : Not family nor relatives, but friends) privately messaged me asking me if I'm ok and that they will visit again soon.  Well... perhaps this is one of the blessings of the incompetent cervix.  It's a natural filter for who you want in your life and who don't truly need.  

But HEY! Keep your head up! Perhaps the rest just missed my post, or they have other things to do in their lives! I mean, who are we to judge what people do in their lives?  After all, in a while I will have 3 kids all below the age of 7, would I actually visit a pregnant woman on bedrest to do her laundry? Don't I have enough laundry and dirty nappies to wash? Maybe we just feel neglected and lonely once in a while... my point is... you are not alone if you are feeling like that. Like... you know... a total Bxxxx... Coz I was feeling that way just a few days ago. :) 

 

WEEK 15 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Gude - TO BEDREST OR NOT TO BEDREST?

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 14, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 18 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

  You should still be home resting.  Or for some of you who had the transabdominal cerclage (TAC) or if you preventive TVC was placed before any changes took place in your cervix, you may be allowed to resume normal activities by now.  With some restrictions, of course - this varies widely from women to women, pregnancy to pregnancy, country to country, hospital to hospital.  It is very individual and it is best to ask your doctor what suits you best.  You have to take into consideration several factors, including :

1) Your cervix length
2) Whether there are any effacement or funnelling of your cervix, if so, how badly
3) Is this your 1st TVC? Are there any scar tissues from previous stitches? If so how may it affect this one?
4) Are you on any progesterone injections/ suppositories or any other medication to prevent preterm labour?
5) Work arrangements and finances
6) Older children
7) Availability of someone helpful at home
8) Personal preferences (yours or your doctor's)

In any case, all very much depends on further changes to the cervx too.  Some went through deterioration, and yet some will actually experience what is called "reversal of the cervix", in other words, your cervix length actually improved after your cerclage!

To know more about follow up and resting at home, do read Week 14.

You should also be getting your follow up appointment this week and this is the time to ask lots of questions, especially if the last 1 week you have been burdened by bleeding, occassional cramping or you felt hardening of your uterus.  Do remember that there is a foreign object, that is, your stitch, at your cervix and your body will naturally attempt to flush it out.  Also, give the stitch some credit - it is there for a reason so trust it, but at the same time, take it easy. Keep off your feet as much as you can if given the choice, but on the other hand follow the doctor's instructions to the letter if you are not given any choice.  Nothing is worth the life of this child.  After all, you have made it so far.

As you may only be bedresting for a week, you may not feel the real impact yet, physically and mentally, of the effects of bedrest.  But perhaps it's time to gather your thoughts about what you would want to do while lying down.  Artwork, blog, DVDs, novels, magazines... and of course internet games and social media... but being on my 3rd prolonged bedrest currently, I can tell you - there is only so much TV and facebook you can with stand - we are human beings and towards  the end of the day, we need human interaction.  Allow visitors, but don't be shy to make it clear that you do not want small children running around nor do you want a mess after that to clean up, because you can't.  And also excuse yourself for having to lie down or sit up once in a while during their visits, and if necessary, allow girlfriends only as you may feel uncomfortable lying down in the presence of their husbands or boyfriends.  Whatever it is, just remember : Your baby is of utmost importance at the moment!

WEEK 14 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE CERCLAGE

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 14, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 17 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
So it is the week of your transvaginal cerclage if you are having one (of course this varies according to the development of your pregnancy, your doctor's personal preferences and other various factors).  For preparation, risks and what is expected to happen on the day of surgery, do read Week 13.

Today, we shall discuss what is to be expected AFTER you go home.  Usually after the surgery you will be expected to stay over a day or 2 in the hospital to monitor your condition, and to ensure you get the proper bedrest. Yes, this is the beginning of that dreaded (or welcomed) bedrest.

  
*Recovering at Home

• You may be prescribed medication to take at home. This may be medication to relieve pain. It may also be medication to prevent labor. Take any medication as prescribed.
  
• Take it easy for 2-3 days after the procedure. Plan to have others help you as needed. Unless you are instructed to do so, you do not need to stay in bed.
  
• Avoid having intercourse for at least 7 days after the procedure.
  
• Ask your doctor when you can return to work and exercise.
  

Follow-Up

Make a follow-up appointment as directed by our staff. During your follow-up visit, your doctor will check your healing. You can also discuss how your pregnancy is progressing. You will be told when to schedule an appointment to have the stitch removed.

When to Call the Doctor

Call your doctor if you notice any of the following:

• A fever of 100.4°F or higher
  
• Pain that does not go away even after taking pain medication
  
• Contractions or abdominal cramping
  
• Unexpected vaginal spotting or bleeding
  
• Fluid leaking from the vagina
  
• Bleeding from the vagina
  
• Foul-smelling drainage from the vagina
  
• Back or abdominal pain (*Source  : University of Minnesota Medical Center)
  

From my experience with my preventive TVC (transvaginal cerclage), the recovery was uneventful.  It was my 2nd TVC and a preventive one, as compared to my first dramatic rescue TVC at 23w4d.  It was mid-October, and by December I was up and about carolling with a local church choir.  But I was astute the weeks following my surgery to stay off my feet, staying on a strict bedrest, getting up to sit only for meals and walking to the bathroom when necessary with a twice daily quick showers (seated of course).  I moved around in a wheelchair, including attending my eldest son's kindy concert day in one (and the kindy principal very kindly arranged special privileges for me - front seat audience, special carpark and the use of the elevator).  I even climbed up the choir loft during Christmas eve mass and sang my heart out.  I carried till 37 weeks when my TVC was removed, and my 3.93kg baby was born on his due date.

However, with my current 3rd TVC (2nd preventive one) I am still battling a long battle to hold a healthy fullterm baby in my arms.  I was told that I had a cervical polyp during the procedure, and my doctor removed it.  He also mentioned scar tissues from the previous cerclages, and he had to sew around the scar tissues.  He told me to bedrest for at least a month, but of course, I thought this was my 3rd baby, I have had 2 successful TVCs didn't I? So I was up cooking, mopping and cleaning the house.  And just last week, a day after Week 17, I was told I had funnelled to my stitch. As I'm writing this I know the odds have just turned against me, thanks to my know-it-all attitude.  Ladies, if you have just had yourTVC, whether or not you have been advised to rest, may I suggest that you should.  Nothing else is worth a healthy fullterm baby in your arms.

Now, wouldn't you trade this for just a few weeks of your life without cleaning cooking and moving about?

Always remember, it also doesn't harm anyone to be paranoid - not to the extent of stressing yourself out unncessarily, but call your doctor, or go to the ER if you feel something is not right.  Trust your instincts, this is one lesson i have learnt in my incompetent cervix pregnancies - better be safe than to be sorry - this truly rings true from now on.

WEEK 11 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - FINANCES AND OTHER CONSIDERATION

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 11, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 17 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

Heartburn, constipation, fatigue? Yea you are probably still at that stage at Week 11. The morning sickness may be waning off, but it may still be causing a lot of trouble.  My appetite was ferocious for my 1st 2 pregnancies.  With the current No.3, I have no appetite for anything other than tomyam.  It's that spicy and sour soup originated from Thailand, and there is this belief among the Chinese that sour is not good for early pregnancy? But well... eating only tomyam is better than not eating at all!

Some of us IC moms may already be preparing for our TVC. Read Week 10 here.

What all of us have to remember is of course to eat healthily.  I am not a good example, but I was still conscientiously taking my folic acid, as well as plenty of fruits to avoid constipation. As IC moms, one thing we will soon learn is that bowel movements are to be as easy as possible - bring on those prunes and bananas! Well, I developed an aversion to sweet things (I gag at the smell of sweet things) during this 3rd pregnancy so I had no choice but to buy bland fruits like guava and pour lots of salt or saltines on it.  But again, don't take my advice on food! In fact, do read some good websites on healthy food during pregnancy like this http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/eating-right-when-pregnant

 Do a final take on finances before the day. Check if your insurance covers the cerclage procedure, and whether your company allows hospitalisation benefits, and of course, the cost of the procedure.  I paid not more than RM2500 (USD750) for each of my 3 cerclages, but the cost may differ from state to state, hospital to hospital.

At Week 11 for my current pregnancy, the subchrionic hematoma had already bled out on its own, thanks to plenty of water, bedrest and prayers.  I was put on duphaston 3 times a day, and continued to do so until after my TVC.

I was still reluctant to break the news to anyone, including my own family.  Hubby decided to tell his mom, sis and bro, but that was about it. I told a handful of very close friends, but only because I needed the support emotionally.  Many thought resting in bed doing nothing is a wonderful thing, but if only they peeked at my daily calendar, they would know that REST was never on the schedule and I haven't grown accustomed to it eventhough this is the 3rd time.  I tried as much as I could to finalise my children's affairs, made plans with hubby on chauffering the kids and preparing them to school every morning.  What I do know is by the time I got my preschooler prepared to be out of the door by 8am, I was dead tired (even pre-pregnancy) but I had to continue to prepare myself for work after I drop the toddler off at the babysitter.  So we truly needed help to at least takeover that few hours in the morning from me. Mom in law is the answer, and she has been a fantastic help thus far! 

WEEK 8 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE PREPARATION NOW THAT IT'S REAL

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 8, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

If you are seeing your baby for the first time on the ultrasound, I can feel your excitement! You may even be able to hear his/her heartbeat, and you might be so tempted to announce to the world now that it is sooooo real!!!

But if already know you have the condition of an incompetent cervix and this is another 'IC baby' (as we IC moms fondly refer to our little babies), you may start having mixed feelings.  Along with other 1st trimester pregnancy worries, you know that while others look forward to Week 14 as it marks the end of the 1st trimester, that will be the time when we will have to undergo the cerclage procedure.  Some of us may already have some changes to our cervix, or if you are like me, you have a short cervix to begin with.  You may not know of your condition yet, but some countries are already making it compulsory for cervical length to be checked at 16 weeks (do refer to Week 7 on England NHS's petition).  I have also shared some of the worries (financially, psychologically and physically) in Week 7. 

Some of us do get some bleeding/spotting at this point.  I was diagnosed with subchrionic hematoma
which is supposedly common, but how many pregnant women like the idea of bleeding during her pregnancy? Blood is never a good sign, and seeing a dark patch around the sac on the ultrasound isn't exactly reassuring.  The happy ending says the blood clot will dissolve on its own, the unhappy ending says you end up in a miscarriage.  Either ways, it is especially not a welcomed diagnosis for an IC mom, simply because this should be the last few weeks of normal activity, perhaps even a few more gym sessions before the dreaded bedrest (modified, strict or otherwise), but with a subchrionic hematoma, again bedrest is prescribed. So now what... instead of 6 months of restricted activity, it has become 8???

But well... if it is for the good of having that little bundle of joy in your arms in the end... WHY NOT? If I have to do this over and over again, I would.  But at this point, perhaps the question of whether you would stop having babies may pop up with hubby (ignore the rest, remember?). For me, this is my 3rd IC baby. and my OBGYN noted during my cerclage procedure 2 weeks ago that there were scar tissues from my previous cerclages, and he had to stitch around and away from those scar tissues. It will not get easier or less risky if I do decide to have more babies. He did mention I may have issues with dilation when labour comes (cervical dystocia). And of course, other factors like, will your career be once again stagnanted, how about finances? If you already have 2 or 3 children, you will need to plan for their future as well.  Bedrest may affect them too, as most of them may still be a toddler, or a preschooler, and they  need lots of cuddles and attention and outings. Which, of course, is not possible with bedrest.

Since your pregnancy is now very real (there are statistics that show if you hear and see the heartbeat at 8 weeks, the chances of a continuing pregnancy increases to 98% as compared to just a couple of weeks ago when it was slightly above 60%), this is a good week to start making some solid plans for what is to come.  Start with the short term ones, like who will help out with household chores during the weeks (or months) of bedrest after the cerclage placement, who will chauffeur the older kids around to babysitters, playschools and piano lessons, who will prepare your meals, and what will you do to occupy yourself.  Do you have to inform your employer now? Should you?  It is best to be honest and open, tell your boss the possibilities, from the best to worst case scenario, and what to expect.  As for yourself, Be prepared for the best... or worst. You may be asked to leave, or you may be granted paid leave.  But always remember at the end of all this... what can be worth more than that Little Rainbow you will hold against your breasts?

WEEK 7 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - COST AND WORK

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 7, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

Nausea (it's not really morning sickness if it's all day round ain't it?), frequent toilet trips, breast tenderness... are you sure you can still keep this little secret to yourself? With my first two pregnancies, I didn't even know what is morning sickness all about.  It's like THE most popular tell-all for pregnant women (the movies say so) but I never had such thing. My appetite was voracious, I ate everything and anything, and someone who couldn't stand sweet things, my tastebuds suddenly developed an affection for ice cream and chocolates.

Then the 3rd pregnancy came by.  I was nauseous the entire day for the entire 1st trimester.  I was hungry all the time (that was the first sign I suspected something amiss, since No. 3 was not planned) but the moment I prepared myself a sandwich, or a bowl of noodle, I started to gag. And I gag at even the SMELL of sweet things.  Well... what are your stories? DO tell!!!

As I understand it, in some parts of the USA, the doctor will not see you until you are at least 8 weeks.  Here, we run to the OBGYN at the first faint line on our home pregnancy test kit.  Well, if you haven't seen your little one on the ultrasound yet, time to be excited about it. Also, time to prepare those questions you may want to ask. Some of it I have spoken about in last week's post (Read Week 6).

If this is your first pregnancy or  you do not know if you have an incompetent cervix, you may not even bring it up. Some countries have made it compulsory for cervix length to be checked, some have not.  Recently it came to my attention that England has started a petition for it http://www.change.org/p/nhs-england-cervical-incompetence-nhs-to-make-cervical-checks-mandatory-from-16-25-weeks-save-babies-lives and I do wonder if I should initiate one in Malaysia too.  I have heard too many stories of late pregnancy losses among my friends and acquaintance, yet nobody seems to have heard about incompetent cervix when I said I have it.  Your bosses and colleagues may even think you are making it up just to find excuse to take long leave to bedrest at home.  In a way I was lucky to have an understanding employer who made necessary arrangements for me to work from home, but you will know if your colleagues are not too happy about it - the backstabbing and badmouthing would have started. Like... women got pregnant since the beginning of time, what's so special about you?

Well, I did quit after that to set up my own practice, for more flexible hours since I enjoyed being a mom. But do consider your finannces as this condition comes with a cost.  Insurance of course does not cover this condition in my country (I bet they haven't even heard of it before).  The cost of a transvaginal cerclage with a spinal block and a 24-hour hospital stay is about RM2500 to RM3500 (USD750 to USD1000), perhaps more depending on which hospital and which state you live in Malaysia.  If you are a salaried employee, your employer may or may not be agreeable to a paid leave (if you are hospitalised they may be obliged to grant you paid leave, but if you are merely at home on bedrest, they may even be contractually allowed to terminate your employment).  If you are running your own business, you may lose your clients and customers (again, depending on the nature of your job).  So where will your income be coming from? You need to know when will your cerclage be placed, and what is the period of your bedrest thereafter. A lot of OBGYN won't be able to tell you a definite answer as it depends on the response of your pregnancy (particularly your cervix) to the procedure.

Yes, there will be a lot of uncertainties for the next few months, and you really have to be mentally prepared for it.  If you think your career is more important and decide to return to work just because you feel much better and more secure after your cerclage, WHAT IF.... just WHAT IF you lose your baby again?  Is that a risk you are willing to take? On the other hand, if you do not go back to work, how will you cope financially? Will you be able to cope with prolonged house arrest/bedrest, shut away from the bustling life you used to have?  With No.1 it was an emergency cerclage at 23 weeks, I was not prepared for it at all.  In fact I started bleeding blood clots that night after a kickboxing session followed by step aerobics at the gym, and the previous day I just returned from a babymoon trip with hubby,  As a litigation lawyer I was walking up and down the courtrooms on a daily basis with heavy files and I was a chorister in the local church choir, the state choir and a local choral group.  I never knew the meaning of rest. So the 3 month bedrest after the emergency cerclage which cut me off from the world almost killed me psychologically.

Well, if this is your 2nd or 3rd time bedresting, you  may be more mentally prepared.  You may have downloaded an entire series of James Patterson e-novels, or purchased an entire collection of DVDs of reruns of Law and Order : SVU Season 1 to the current season, but believe me, it doesn't get easier.  So whatever choices you make about your bedrest will not only have to depend on what your OBGYN tells you, but also depends on the support you get from people around you, also, listen to your body, your mind,  and start asking yourself if it is worth the risk of having a preemie, or to lose the baby altogether.  Start thinking, and pray very hard for guidance.

WEEK 6 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - EMOTIONAL PREPARATION

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 6, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

Your morning sickness hitting hard, ain't it? Welcome to the world of 1st trimester difficulties.  As promised earlier, this series of blog is NOT meant to duplicate what the other websites are telling you, be it about your baby or the changes in your body.  It is meant to share with you (and you are of course most welcome to share your experiences, joys and pains in the comment section below!) my experience , physically and emotionally (and a whole lot of other aspects) of having incompetent cervix pregnancies.  Oh ya I feel obliged to mention spotting at this point and your fluctuating hormones... all part and parcel of having a little human being formed in you!

And oh, if you have been taking fertility drugs or actually had an IVF or any other fertility treatment, you may want to double check with your OBGYN whether you are expecting more than a baby. ONE baby laying down on your incompetent cervix is bad enough, if you have 2 or more, you may need extra precautions and advice. I don't know, I've never been through multiple pregnancies before! (Thank God? I don't know. If you read my previous weeks' postings, you would have known by now I adore kids).

So, are you ready to share the news to the whole world yet? (Read my take on this in Week 5 here).  There are always pros and cons. If you have had an early miscarriage before, you may want to keep it to yourself first because you know how painful it is when people ask you how's your pregnancy and you had to keep repeating that you already lost it.  Or you  may want to keep it to yourself because you didn't think it necessary to share good news to others who may see it as a bad news. You will never believe what I've been through... when people found out I was pregnant with No. 3, instead of the customary "Congratulations" they are more concerned about whether it's safe to have No. 3, whether I'm sure I want the child (like yea.... more than I want you as a friend you idiot), whether it would affect my work, and whether my hubby 'knows it yet' (like it's akin to news that someone died).  On the other hand, you may want to share it because you are just oh so happy (and of course if this is the first time you are dealing with an incompetent cervix, you probably wouldn't even know about it yet).

You may have already started calculating the date your cerclage will be placed, whether you will need bedrest, if so what sort, complete or modified, for a few days or few months, what should you tell your bosses and babysitters (to your older children, if any).  For me, I know I had to tell mom in law very soon as I would need her to come over to see to the 2 older kids right after my cerclage is placed.  

Emotionally, I know it was going to be difficult.  I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom but due to financial constraints I had to work.  No. 3 is a good excuse to finally reason with hubby that it makes some financial sense as cost of babysitting and the extra tuition and piano lessons are high. I can teach my kids.  I can look after my kids.  I can cook (eating out is costly too), and I can clean (hourly cleaners are costly too). But well, these are things to be considered in the weeks and months to come.  It doesn't harm to start thinking about it, especially if it soothes you emotionally. For me, hanging up the courtroom robe for good and spending time cooking cleaning and caring for my kids is also known as THE PERFECT LIFE! :)

You have about 9 more weeks to go before your cerclage is placed, and depending on various factors, you may need to be on some kind of bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy, so if you feel fit enough to hit the gym, do it now.  Shopping, of course. Clean up the house a bit before it looks like one of those 'before' images of the "Hoarders Intervention" reality series on Home and Health channel in the months to come (come on, even the best house cleaners teamed up with hubby will not be able to clean it the way you do!).  Most of all, spend time with your kids.  Take them out to the beach, maybe even a short holiday.  Other websites will tell you morning sickness may weigh you down and that 2nd trimester is when your 'honeymoon period' is, well... you have an incompetent cervix and the 2nd trimester will be your worst nightmare (sorry for this piece of reality) so leave your babymoon to the 2nd trimester. You know what? You don't have time for morning sickness and complaints about breast pains at this point, you have 9 weeks left to enjoy being a normal pregnant woman!

So hang in there.

WEEK 4 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE START OF AN IC PREGNANCY JOURNEY

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 4, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

If you have successfully conceived, your baby has already entered its embryionic stage!!! Its organs are beginning to be formed. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!!! Of course you still have no idea whether you are pregnant, and the most sensitive and expensive pregnancy test kit at this point may still come out negative!

You may or may not have experienced implantation bleeding (read Week 3 here).  And if you have, it is probably happening this week, and you may have recognised it. And there may even be a faint line on your kit, so yippee!!! To tell hubby or not to tell hubby? For me, with No. 1, I made that phone call immediately.  With No. 2, I waited till he gets home. No. 3 was unplanned and I knew how apprehensive he was, so I didn't say anything until the ultrasound at the OBGYN confirmed it.  Well, it's all up to you!

Well, since you can read all about the excitement and anticipation in other websites, maybe we can talk a little about those of us with an incompetent cervix.  It gets rather real now, doesn't it?  Your pregnancy test kit may have confirmed a pregnancy. Which means... another long road to holding a fullterm baby in your arms.  If you have had a bad experience or a loss, you just have to be positive this time around.  Maybe this time your cerclage will hold up.  Maybe this time your preventive cerclage will be much better than your emergency one the last time.  Maybe you are able to be on your feet again a few weeks after your cerclage! Again these are questions you want to start compiling to ask your OGBYN during that first visit soon.  If you are on facebook, do join this group of lovely ladies Incompetent Cervix Awareness.  I survived through 2 of my IC pregnancies with the support of this group.  They are not judgmental and they are ever ready to share and to give you lots of positive vibes.  Believe me, bedrest will take its toll on you physically as well as emotionally!

Continue to eat healthy. I cannot say this more.  Continue to enjoy these last few weeks of physical activity.  Clean your house, clear the mess, go shopping, exercise, a short holiday, and of course, lots of intimacy with hubby.  Soon both of you have to practice celibacy (well, at least he can still enjoy orgasm either on his own or with your assistance, but you have to be on STRICT PELVIC REST! ) so now is the time to perhaps satiate yourself :P

Again, steer clear of negative people.  Be around supportive and loving friends and family.  You will need lots of positive vibes for what is to come.  I don't mean to scare you, but we are going through a HIGH RISK PREGNANCY.  We cannot deny this fact.  Some well meaning advice, even from those whom had difficult pregnancies before, may not be relevant, perhaps even unwelcomed. Simply because our situation are different.  In fact, even among IC mommies, we react differently to the cerclage, and our cervix certainly do not respond the same way to the same procedures or medications. So just continue to be strong.

WEEK 3 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Cervix Guide - APPREHENSION VS EXCITEMENT

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 3, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

So, wasn't last week an exciting and um...  SEXY week?

So there is nothing much you can do this week except to wait. That 14-day wait can be tiresome, really.  Especially if you have fertility issues like me.  The knowledge of an incompetent cervix may even be so stressful that it adds to the 'bad hormones' that may prevent conception. Sigh... not easy being a woman, eh?  You look for every little symptom, every little sign that may point to early signs of pregnancy.  But we also know that signs of pregnancy mimic signs of PMS!!! ARGH!!!! Why doesn't it get easier?

Ok, so I found this website many years ago (remember the sitting on the toilet crying when period started? Read Week 2 here ). It was truly helpful (but believe me, only psychologically) in getting that dreaded 2 weeks to pass before you can actually go to the pharmacy and empty the shelves of pregnancy test kits! http://www.twoweekwait.com/    You will find yourself doing a lot of silly things during these 2 weeks, but don't worry, this website will assure you that there is no need to visit the psychiatric department just yet :)

Oh ya, one thing I learnt is,implantation bleeding is very real. All my pregnancies... I thought dear Aunty Flo has visited again... but turned out to be just implantation bleeding.  So watch out for that ladies, and don't panic nor fret when you see bleeding.  It may just be that.  Especially for those of us with an incompetent cervix... hey we don't dilate this early. No mucous plug whatsoever to worry about. If the little one has already been created, just give it a little time to travel to your uterus (it takes between 6 to 16 days I believe) and implant itself into the uterine wall. Continue to eat healthy, remember the folic acid, and wait for a while more....

You may want to continue your lovemaking sessions though... because you know what? With an incompetent cervix, you may be prescribed complete pelvic rest as well. Which means no sexual intercourse, no sexual stimulation whatsoever and definitely no orgasm! That would be a good 36 weeks of celibacy (ok, maybe you can still do it before Week 14 when your cerclage is due to be placed, and maybe after Week 37 after the cerclage is removed, but still..... 20 plus week of celibacy is no fun!)  Also, go enjoy shopping, kickboxing, carrying your toddler if you have one, and all those physical activities you may not be able to do anymore very soon.  If you haven't heard yet, bedrest is part and parcel of the life of a pregnant woman with an incompetent cervix.

Emotionally... of course if this is not your first pregnancy, you will have mixed feelings. Anticipation, fear, excitement, apprehension... if you have supportive friends and family of course things do get a LITTLE bit easier.  But if you have been listening to endless "One is enough" or "Why do you want to go through this again?" then well... be strong. You are not asking them to go through the pain with you. Neither are you asking them for any favours when you are bedresting.  They could be worried about your psychological as well as physical well being... but if only they knew how much you want to have this baby.. they will soon understand.  As for those who are simply irritating beings planted into this Planet, just ignore them.  In fact, when you do get pregnant, make sure they are the last to know! You don't need to share this good news with them, much less get any negative energy from these negative people!!!  Just stay close to hubby, he is the only one who is important in this journey other than yourself. And if you do have another little one (or two) at home running around, give him or her plenty of attention.. Perhaps a good time to go for a short holiday in Disneyland or Legoland, reassure him or her that mommy will always love him or her (or them) just the same. LOVE MULTIPLIES, NEVER DIVIDED.

WEEK 1 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - ANOTHER IC BABY

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 1, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

This is your menstruation week. The battle you had with PMS last week is finally over. You may have cramps, but well, we know what to do, don't we? 

After all, if we have been battling infertility problems (and somehow I found out that either by coincidence or by scientific reasons, those suffering from incompetent cervix tend to suffer from PCOS as well - that's Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, a condition where you do not ovulate regularly if not at all), the first signs of a period is the most welcoming sight. It means we are starting that journey to holding a baby in our arms!

Yes, Week 1. Some of us may have planned for this baby all our lives.  Some of us may have been trying for the longest time, and the signs of period means another session of sitting on the toilet bowl bawling our eyes out as it means our last attempt about 2 weeks ago failed yet again. Yet to some of us, this is just another cycle, life goes on.  For those who are indeed trying for a baby, do start on those folic acid.  Yup, a good time to start preparing for that journey to motherhood by just simply taking enough supply of the good ole folic acid.

If you are planning for your first pregnancy, you probably wouldn't have heard of incompetent cervix yet.  Sadly, you will first hear or it either when you are already on the verge of losing your baby, or you have already lost one. Or two. Or more. Losing a baby is not something I would wish for my greatest enemy, so if it has happened to you, I am sorry.  Truly I am.  If you are on your 1st pregnancy and you read this blog on time, please ask your OBGYN about this condition when you are approaching the end of your 1st trimester. Ask for a cervix length check. Just be aware.  But if you have lost a baby due to this condition before, or if you are trying for a second baby after a successful cerclage previously, there tend to be some apprehension.

Yes, after the last ordeal, perhaps you don't want to try for anymore children.  Whether or not you already had a surviving child or not, you just cannot imagine going through the ordeal again.  I almost lost my No. 1 at 23 and half weeks and was already bleeding blood clots, but my OBGYN performed a TVC (transvaginal cerclage) anyway, and I was on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy at 38 weeks. Ian is 6 years old today.  And well, many told me that perhaps I should stop there. No more babies. Too much risk.  Too many issues.  Too financially and emotionally straining.  Some gave unwelcomed advice like "You shouldn't exercise when pregnant" (I mean yea, I was hitting the gym 5 times a week 3 hours a day doing kickboxing and step aerobics but that is not the cause of an incompetent cervix!!!) and many thought this is the case where my womb isn't strong, or that I'm simply not a strong enough woman to carry a child.  So at this point, if you are preparing yourself for another pregnancy, just bear in mind that it is yours and your husband's decision. If he is being influenced inadvertently by all those ill informed advice (eventhough may be well meaning) then pull him back and head to your OBGYN's office. Listen to the professional, not the ignorant advice (again, though may be well intended).  YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

So, breathe in, take your folic acid, quit smoking and drinking, and prepare your body for next week... the week for intense lovemaking sessions :) :)

The Blessings and Curses of the Incompetent Cervix

What is incompetent ccervix? If you come from this part of the world where I come from, you probably wouldn't have even heard of it before. Cerclage? Modified bedrest? TVC? TAC? Strict bedrest? Shirodkar? Macdonald? What are those?

Just google. Yes Mr G our bff. And you will get an answer. The dos and donts, and many of the websites will tell you pretty much the same thing, main thing being "One of the symptoms of an incompetent cervix is multiple previous pregnancy losses". Like... huh??? You need to lose a baby or 2 before you get diagnosed? Oh it's just a miscarriage isn't it? After all, another website will tell you a certain percentage of women suffer miscarriage anyway don't they? I have miscarried at 9 weeks before, and let me tell you, it was devastating.  But with an incompetent cervix there is another painful twist to it. You would have carried the baby way past 1st trimester, your baby is fully formed, with arms and legs and eyes and nose... yes... it's a BABY. You would have bonded with the little one, prepared your nursery, named the child even, and felt those little kicks. With an incompetent cervix, your little baby is hale and hearty, no chromosonal defects whatsoever. YES. THE DEFECT IS WITH YOUR DARNED CERVIX. It can't hold your pregnancy. And you perfectly healthy baby slips out of your womb because your cervix is incompetent.

Look at my title. Blessings and curses? What blessings can there possibly be? Well, to divert for a while... I have long noticed how many hundreds of websites there are providing a 'week by week pregnancy guide' and these are guides for a healthy no risk pregnancy. Whenever Week 14 comes, they even tell you "OH THIS IS YOUR HONEYMOON TRIMESTER!!!" Well guess what? For women with an incompetent cervix. That is simply not the case. Week 14 is probably the week where you are scheduled for a cerclage. Ok I'm rambling. Point is, I will try my very best with just my experience and a little I gather from the forum for incompetent cervix women I'm in, I will start another blog WEEK BY WEEK starting from Week 1 itself. For women with incompetent cervix. There, I will explain further what is this all about.

But well... since I mentioned blessings. Ok, blessings. First of all, of course, the fact that you may almost certainly appreciate your babies more.  Every surviving child is a miracle child.  Some women who were never diagnosed went on to lose their babies in late pregnancies, with no surviving children at all.  Some women, eventhough diagnosed, lost their babies anyway even after a cerclage.  Some women had surviving preemie who never went on to have a normal life due to defects caused by just simply being a preterm baby.  So if your carried fullterm with an incompetent cervix, or if your surviving baby lives a happy healthy normal life... you will tend to appreciate your children more.  The little rainbow. The little miracle.

Secondly, the bedrest may be a good thing after all. It makes you slow down a little in terms of your career and all the activities you have been juggling since your schooldays.  You finally have time to read those books collecting dust on your bookshelf, or watch that DVD you bought ages ago, or to write that article you had always wanted published, and of course... time for soul searching. If you are like me, you finally have time to finally have time to gather your thoughts and find constructive ways to leave the job you have always despised.  You may even have time to get closer to God, perhaps open up that Bible you have left at the very bottom shelf....

Thirdly, you are now aware that this is a very real very possible condition.  You can help others. Create awareness.  Share your story with your friends. They don't have to lose anymore babies if they are aware that this is a possible condition and may even checked with their O&G if they have this condition.  You will be surprised that as learned and well read as you are, you never knew that this condition exist and is said to affect 5% of childbearing women.  All those week by week pregnancy guide will briefly mention incompetent cervix in a sentence and dismissed it as rare. How many of us will think that we belong to that 5%? We either don't want to consider it, or we don't think it's possible we are that unlucky. Ignorance is not bliss!

Let's not dwell on the curses shall we? I mean, by now you would have known what it comes with. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Do follow me in my "WEEK BY WEEK INCOMPETENT CERVIX PREGNANCY GUIDE" if you want to know how is it like, week by week, day by day, for a woman with this condition.

To sum it up, I wanted 7 children since I was 5 years old. I watched Sound of Music and I wanted my own DO RE MI FA SO LA TI (remember that scene with Julie Andrews and the von Trapp children on the bullock cart and she was just pointing to the children with the horse whip while they sing their respective notes DO MI MI, MI SO SO, RE FA FA, LA TI TI) but then I was diagnosed with PCOS (this is another story altogether) and then the incompetent cervix. So I am already indeed blessed that I have 2 beautiful healthy boys and no.3 is 16 weeks in the oven! (Oh yeah, I'm bedresting and hence the ability to sit back relax and write this blog). Don't  think there will be anymore as the scar tissues from the previous cerclages are taking its toll on my cervix. But well, who is complaining?