NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 24, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 22 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
REALLY??? We are in Week 24 already? Well, we made it to viability!
Ok, so what is this viability all about? What does it mean? Does it mean my baby will definitely survive if he/she is born now? Does that mean I don't have to restrict my activities anymore and there are no more worries?
Well, the good news is... Yes, your baby will have a chance for survival if she/he is born now, and if you do go into preterm labour, your doctor will probably take all the necessary steps (do whatever they can) to save the baby. Before this... well... before this, they may just tell you 'that there is nothing that they can do', which translates to : If your baby is not yet 24 weeks, they will just consider it an unfortunate miscarriage which they can't do anything about. But now if you do go into preterm labour, they will do everything that they can to save the baby!
(Source : http://www.mamasaidknockyouup.com/2013/02/fetal-survival-rates-week-to-week.html)
The bad news is... the baby is still terribly premature. 24 weeks is about 6 months... we are still 3 months short, and there is a good reason why nature requires a 9-month period of gestation, not 6. In fact, in normal pregnancies, these women are told to watch out for signs of preterm labour as from now till Week 37, our babies are still considered premature and will have to be confined to NICU for a while.
So, NO, viability just means that the doctors may try to save our babies, and our babies have a better chance at surviving and then go on to live happy healthy lives, but that doesn't mean you are off the hooks. Why take unncessary risk when you can help it? Stay off your feet still - bedrest isn't all that bad (Read Week 23 here). Ask any mom who have had a premature baby, and you will know the tears and heartache which you will have to go through before your little one can finally go home. I mean, wouldn't it be a truly happy occassion if your baby can actually latch on and feed off your breasts right after he/she is born and to be able to breathe on his/her own without painful tubes all over them? Both my boys were jaundiced when they were born, and seeing them naked under the phototherapy is painful enough to watch, what more if they have to breathe and feed through tubes. So ladies.... hang in there. After all we have made it so far so why take risks?
But on the psychological side, yes, you can mentally relax. Stop fretting over every single tingle and twitch, and start to enjoy the pregnancy from now onwards. Enjoy your healthy meals (and those no-so-healthy tub of ice cream and 3 pieces of crunchy deep fried chicken) and enjoy bonding with your little baby who by now is creating a little gymnasium of his/her own in your tummy. Take comfort in the fact that if the worst happens and the little one is born now, there is at least a 50% chance for survival, unless the previous weeks. Anxiety is NOT a healthy part of pregnancy, and many believe that it will affect your baby's mental wellbeing as well. Try to smile more to dear hubby who has been so supportive all these weeks (eventhough some days they may not SEEM to be so TO YOU, but truly, they HAVE BEEN). Believe me... I know.
This is a good week. And congratulations that you have made it to this date. Before you knew it, the 3 months would have sailed by and you will have your little bundle of joy in your arms.
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 23, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 21 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
I remember my last pregnancy (my 2 and half year old was born April 2012), when I was at 23 weeks around Christmas season. I was going about my usual Christmas shopping, carolling even with the local choir group, and preparing for the most wondrous time of the year 2011. I am expecting an April baby again, but this time around, things are not as fa-la-la merry. This is my 3rd cerclage and my obgyn observed during the procedure that my cervix was now badly damaged and there were a lot of scar tissues from the previous cerclages. Bedrest is no longer an option, but a necessity.
(yup that was me... the one in pants... only I was allowed to wear pants as I couldn't find a skirt which fits)
Yes, if all things go well with your preventive cerclage (even if it's a transvaginal cerclage and not a transabdominal one, which most will tell you no bedrest is needed with the latter) then more likely than not, you will be able to go on with your normal activities. Truly, those websites which tell you that now is probably the time when you feel your best - they are not that far wrong. The nausea is definitely gone, your little one's kicks and punches are assurances that she is doing well in there, and you are no longer looking like a whale yet. So yea, you should be feeling well. But some of us may be feeling the woes of an INCOMPETENT CERVIX pregnancy at its peak now, and there are many reasons for it (do read Week 22 here).
But fret not! SURELY there are some stuff you can do lying down right? Here are some ideas :
1) Read all those novels which you bought at the book fair 3 years ago which are gathering dust on your bookshelf!
2) Entertain your older children with the good ole Monopoly, Scrabble or Snake and Ladder!
3) When was the last time you actually sat down through a 2 hour movie? Well, now is the time!
4) Go ahead, feel beautiful and pampered with a pedicure/manicure session!
5) Start a journal for you little one, you can keep it in a box file together with her/his 1st foot print, congratulatory cards and other momentos for your baby's reference in her/his later years! Or if you wish, start a Facebook account for him/her right now!
6) Write a blog, like what I'm doing now. Or write that novel you have always wanted to. Or that poem, perhaps even that song you have always wanting to write all your life but never found the time to!
7) It's almost Christmas right? Bring out those art and craft stuff (ok, get hubby to dig them out from the store room) and start working on handmade Christmas decor and greeting cards with your older kids!
8) Shopping online anyone? Well, I have no choice but to do that (thank God for technology) for my Christmas shopping this year!
9) Get chatting in parenting forums, incompetent cervix forums, make friends with other mommies from all around the world who understand what you are going through (you will realise that these strangers understand you more than the 600 'friends' you have in your Facebook friend list)
10) JUST LIE BACK! Relax, stare at nothingness and revel in the fact that you are pregnant, sleep, nap, hum a few Christmas tunes, and remember to thank God and sing praises to Him for all the blessings in your life!
1 more week to viability! HURRAY!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 22, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 21 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
In our condition, there are good days and there are bad days. If you are bedresting and your normal pre-pregnancy daily life involves juggling a high flying career, a toddler and a preschooler and kickboxing classes plus various church activities, you are probably feeling... LAME. Useless. Restless. Let me give you a non-exhaustive list of why we are feeling down in the dumps :
1) We ARE pregnant, our hormones are just not right to begin with.
2) Our pregnancy is considered high risk - which high risk pregnancy doesn't cause a mommy to be anxious and depressed? Especially so if we have lost our babies because of this condition in the first place.
3) We are most likely than not on some progesterone supplements, which means... MORE HORMONES!
4) We are probably facing some financial setback due to the prolonged bedrest, and the costly cerclage procedure which may not be covered by insurance.
5) We are unable to carry out our daily tasks, and to watch the bathroom shower screen growing moss and the bookshelves gathering dust without being able to do anything about it (ok, we are tempted, especially on the days we feel well enough, but is the risk worth it?) is depressing.
6) Following No. 5, we are probably having little tiffs with dear hubby for not being as efficient as us (after all, we were working moms too, weren't we? How is it that we can keep the home spotlessly clean, the kids daily needs attended to yet bring home a paycheque without so much as batting an eyelid but dear hubby just can't???)
7) Speaking of hubby, we miss sex. (Read my take on this issue on Week 21)
8) We find ourselves very much alone - no amount of favourite novels, facebook chats and television is gonna replace that human camarederie. And not many of us are lucky enough to have a steady stream of friends to come visit every week (don't even bother thinking about every day).
9) At week 22, our little one has not yet reached viability. If we go into preterm labour now, or if our waterbag bursts, there is nothing much the doctors can do. In fact, some of them won't even try. We are so near, and yet so far. We have bonded with this child so as to be familiar by now with her kicks and stretches and we have seen her yawn so many times on the ultrasound... it's an extremely scary thought that anything should happen to this baby.
10) We are consumed by guilt every single day that we are unable to take our older kids to the park, or to the beach. The toddler who had just celebrated his 2nd birthday at home indoors (and not some wonderful beach picnic with lots of friends and presents because of our bedrest) just couldn't comprehend why mommy has suddenly refused to carry him or give him a bath like she used to.
If I go on with this list, I am sure it would take up the whole day. Hey, don't beat yourself up. I know, it's easier said than done. I am going through it. Of course I know. You may want to join a forum http://www.fertilethoughts.com/forums/bed-rest-support/ or you may want to just sit back and prayhttp://www.graceformoms.com/10-scriptures-for-fighting-fear-in-pregnancy/
At the same time, ladies... cheer up. Remember when you were funnelling right after your cerclage procedure? That seems aeons ago, ain't it? We are almost there. Perhaps go try on a nice sexy dress and put on your contact lenses and make-up... take a few selfies and enjoy that pregnancy glow everyone is talking about - It's there, believe me. Besides, when is the best time to try on that kimono top than now when you have this cleavage most 20 year olds would kill for?
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 21, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 21 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
OH! The regular week by week pregnancy guide I'm following just told me that most of the early pregnancy woes are gone and I should be feeling pretty relaxed and wonderful now! And the only thing I would probably worry about now is ACNE!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! Ok... yes I do notice how my scalp gets oilier than usual (but I can't be washing my hair everyday due to bedrest constraints, can I?) and acne is suddenly popping up on my forehead and my face like a teenager (not that I used to have acne problems in my teenage years) but that is the LEAST of my concerns!!! And oh... we are supposed to 'crave sex' around this time, as we no longer suffer the nausea of 1st trimester and yet we are not exactly a hippo of 3rd trimester yet, hence the biggest question in our heads is supposed to be... which position is most suitable? Hm.... THIS IS THE EXACT REASON WHY I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS SERIES OF BLOG FOR IC MOMMIES EXCLUSIVELY!!!
Ok, sex is out. In fact, some of us are told that all pelvic activities are out, in other words, not only no sexual intercourse, but no orgasms as well, not even sexual arousal! Frankly, some of us may feel rather comfortable with the TAC or the TVC in, and many doctors may allow us to resume our 'normal activities', and true enough, with the additional blood flow to our genitals we may feel like we are in a perpetual state of arousal. So I have observed that many women did go ahead to have sexual intercourse, some resort to 'just insertion of the tip of the penis', while others are just happy with heavy petting with dear hubby without actual intercourse.
This subject is not very much discussed, and I even came across a forum where one IC mommy asked the question and was bombarded with hurtful accusations, some even abusive about how could she worry about something as trivial as sex when her own baby's life is at stake? I'm not going to be judgmental here, but a lot of these angry mommies are mommies with preemies and mommies who had actually lost their babies due to IC, so I can understand the fury. But on the other hand, how many of us have not actually thought of sex just because there is a cerclage within us? How many of us have not actually scoured the internet for answers to this so called taboo question? How many of us have not actually went to sleep exhausted only to be awakened rudely by an intense but involuntary orgasm following a very intense wet dream?
This is a very difficult situation isn't it? I guess I was lucky as my husband never brought up the subject, and he never demanded for anything unless I was feeling up to it and he settled for a handjob, or oral sex (you on him, not vice versa, you don't want to risk any infection!) To be sure, you may ask your doctor and discuss this topic, but again, how many of us would actually do that without some degree of embarassment? So we scour the internet for answers, and while most sites will tell you to abstain, discussions by real moms in real forums will tell you very different answers. Yes, ask 10 different moms and you will get 10 very different answers. Towards the end of the day, you decide. And perhaps these are some questions you can ask yourself before making that decision :
1) How was your last visit to the doctor? Did he mention your cerclage is holding well and your cervix length is fantastic and there is almost no funnelling?
2) Was it a TAC or a TVC? If it was a TVC, was it a preventive one or an emergency one after you have already started to dilate/funnel? Is this your first TVC? Were there any scar tissues from previous TVCS? What was the condition of your cervix?
3) Since your cerclage, were there any complications? Any bleeding after the week of the cerclage placement? Any twinges and cramps and pains? Any further funnelling? What about contractions - is your uterus more irritable than ever? What about discharge?
4) Do you understand the biology of what happens during sexual activities? There will be uterine contractions, your cervix may ripen and funnel further, and prostaglandins in semen may trigger premature labour. There is a reason why some old wives' tale tell you to have a lot of sex after your due date and your baby isn't coming yet!
5) Are you feeling comfortable, physically and emotionally to go ahead with it?
6) If you are reading this at Week 21, your baby is not viable yet. Are you willing to lose the baby should your sexual activities bring about premature labour? If you are reading this even after baby is past its viability, are you financially and emotionally equipped to look after a premature baby who may end up in the NICU for weeks, maybe months? What if the premature baby suffers some permanent disability? Is it all worth it?
Does giving in to a moment's temptation worth it? Do the benefits actually outweigh the risks? Always remember, every pregnancy is different, and so every incompetent cervix pregnancy is different. Even if you have gotten away with daily sex with the previous cerclage, will this time around be as lucky?
Let us ponder about this a moment this week. For there are still at least 16 more weeks to come. If you think about it, 16 weeks isn't that long. 16 weeks ago, you have just found out that you were pregnant. Not that long ago, eh? :)
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 20, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 20 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
WE ARE halfway there! Well, MORE than halfway if we are targetting 37 weeks (where our babies are no longer considered preterm), or better yet (for those of you who are taking it milestone per milestone), we are 4 weeks away from viability!
Exciting as it is, I am sure we are all feeling the same way... that we are NOT THERE until we have a healthy fullterm baby in our arms. Just that thought is enough to doom our day to another bout of depression. After all, we have seen that little baby on the ultrasound, sucking her thumb, yawning even, and we even know whether it's a girl or a boy already! Plus those kicks which remind you ever so often throughout the day that he/she is IN there. But we are not out of the danger zone yet. Physically, there may be a lot going on (read Week 19 here on vaginal discharge) but emotionally, there is even more to it... simply because nobody around us seems to understand.
We get questions like... "So are you better now?"
Better? What do you mean better? You mean like those people who went in for a heart surgery or a kneecap replacement and now after 6 weeks they are feeling better? When does it ever get better with a cerclage placement? It doesn't get better!!!! Yes, you just want to shout back at that well meaning person who just asked isn't it? Baby is getting heavier, putting more pressure on the cerclage. HOW IS THAT BETTER?!!! The bedrest has stretched to its 6th week now, we are not sure if our bosses are gonna take this any longer, not to mention our bank accounts, how is that better?! We have not carried our toddlers for weeks now, nor have we gone out to have a decent meal, or to shop for Christmas, and we worry every single minute of the day whether the darned stitch would hold up... how is that better?!!! Gosh, don't these people know that it will only be 'better' once our healthy babies are in our arms?!!! Well... they don't. So cut them some slack. Explain to them if you have to, that it doesn't get better. Or ignore them. I hear you. Because I am going through the same thing.
In fact, those well meaning friends are getting fewer by the day, so do treasure those who are still around. When you have just been freshly discharged from the hospital after the cerclage placement, there were probably so many visitors to the point where you had to stop them from coming as you needed your rest. Then they trickled down to a few goodfriends and some family members. And then suddenly on a Saturday evening... you find yourself very much alone. Perhaps with only dear hubby (please appreciate him, this is the time to do so because he is the only one who is still around to see to your needs, your other children's needs, and put up with your pregnant tantrums!) and your older kids (every now and then, explain to them your situation, and reassure them that you still love them very much, and read to them and play 'I spy with my eye' games as often as possible, plus lots of hugs and kisses!).
This is a fantastic opportunity to also find out who your true friends really are. They are the ones who will listen to your endless lamentations of having to lie down on your back daily watching tv and update your facebook every 15 minutes and not flinch (I mean, for those who have never bedrested in their lives, what would they give to be in your shoes!!!). They are also the ones who will bring every meal to you, and wash up after you finish your meals (for me, it's mom in law, who not only brings me delicious healthy home cooked food everyday, but washes up after that, see to my kids and my husband - of course it doesn't hurt that he is mama's boy :) and she does my laundry too!). I have 600+ 'friends' on my Facebook account, but when I posted up few days ago about how I wish I had more visitors, only 2 friends (note : Not family nor relatives, but friends) privately messaged me asking me if I'm ok and that they will visit again soon. Well... perhaps this is one of the blessings of the incompetent cervix. It's a natural filter for who you want in your life and who don't truly need.
But HEY! Keep your head up! Perhaps the rest just missed my post, or they have other things to do in their lives! I mean, who are we to judge what people do in their lives? After all, in a while I will have 3 kids all below the age of 7, would I actually visit a pregnant woman on bedrest to do her laundry? Don't I have enough laundry and dirty nappies to wash? Maybe we just feel neglected and lonely once in a while... my point is... you are not alone if you are feeling like that. Like... you know... a total Bxxxx... Coz I was feeling that way just a few days ago. :)
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 19, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 20 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
We are almost halfway there. If you are reading this because you have been googling the internet after you have just been diagnosed with incompetent cervix, then you are at the right place. I just pray and hope from the bottom of my heart that you have not lost your baby, but you have just had your cerclage placement, and you are either bedresting at home or at the hospital. You may want to read this series of my blogs from the beginning, as I document what to expect, physically and emotionally, in this journey of an IC mommy.
Some of you may have been following through this journey as a 2nd time IC mommy (I'm a 3rd time IC mommy myself), so we know exactly what is coming ahead of us. Well... do we, really? Every pregnancy is different, and every IC pregnancy is different. Other websites will tell you that Week 19 is really a good week to travel, have that 'babymoon', because once a new baby comes along you won't have that luxury anymore. Well, what babymoon? We can't so much as walk to the bathroom for a simple toilet trip without worrying that our cerclage may give way there and then! Ok, so for those of you who had a preventive cerclage, you are probably in your 2nd month of bedrest. Our emotional wellbeing aside, we are probably noticing some changes in our body, particularly where the stitch is. A lot of discharge? Twinges? How does a cerclage look like in a first place and how much trust should we put in it?
There are several types of cerclages, but I am not about to discuss the technicalities and medical aspect of that here as I am no doctor. But what I do know is the cerclage gave me my 2 boys (I almost lost my 6 year old at 23w4d but for an emergent cerclage, and I had a preventive cerclage at Week 15 with my 2 year old. I carried both till fullterm, both cerclages removed at Week 37. Currently I am pregnant with No.3 (a little girl at last!) and had a cerclage placed at Week 14. I was told that I was already funnelling (read more about funnelling on Week 18) and there are scar tissues on my cervix due to previous cerclages, but so far, the cerclage is holding up. That doesn't mean I have never worried, or I am not worrying. With the progesterone vaginal suppositories, there is a lot of watery discharge, and being an IC mom, the main worry is always the leaking of our waterbag. So what is this discharge? Why is there so much discharge? Well, I am going to give a few explanation, but remember, if it really troubles you or your gut instinct is telling you to go to the ER... PLEASE GO.
Otherwise, here may be some reasons why there is so much discharge (speaking from my experience and observation of others with the same condition):
1) There IS a foreign object in there namely the cerclage, it's nature's way to flush out any foreign objects for the safety of the pregnancy (but don't worry, it's not going to flush out your cerclage
2) If you are on vaginal suppositories, again these little pills are foreign objects, and if you do a quick google search now, you will see all these websites will tell you that it is normal to have vaginal discharge as one of the side effects of the vaginal suppositories. I have spoken to my doctor as well and he did say it's normal but if it is troubling me (well, I was so troubled for weeks I did not get a good sleep as I was checking and checking whether the discharge would suddenly be a gush of water) then perhaps I should swallow it instead of inserting it (I was on Utrogestan, one of those you can take orally, so before you down any of your vaginal suppositories please speak to your OBGYN)
3) You may have an infection. How do you know what's the difference then? Well, this discharge is probably yellow or green, or whitish (not clear) and it SMELLS. This one calls for the ER as I was told by my doctor that if we have an infection, our body will release prostaglandins, the same hormones which will accompany our onset of labour.
4) Very unlikely, but yes, you may be leaking amniotic fluid (your waterbag is leaking) and of course this is serious!!!! Like I said earlier, if you are gushing water or you have changed a few soaked pads (not the pantiliners, but the thick sanitary pads) then go to the ER!!!
5) Or finally... relax. Ask ANY pregnant women, even those with normal healthy no risk pregnancies... they will tell you they have discharge as well. This is for the same reason as No.1 - it's our bodies flushing out anything which it thinks harmful for the pregnancy, so the discharge is actually good for us!
I hope this week's blog allay some of your discharge fears. At the same time, remember to eat well, swallow those prenatal vitamins and enjoy your baby. Yes, especially those little movements which are reminding you that she/he is in there waiting to snuggle in your arms :)
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 18, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 20 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
Is your bump showing? Have you finally announced to the whole world about your pregnancy? Are the little kicks getting stronger by the day? Are strangers coming up to you and (sometimes unwelcomedly) touch your bump with endearing comments? Do you know the gender of the baby yet? What are you going to name him/her???
While these are the common questions most pregnant women concern themselves with, we mommies with incompetent cervix (IC mommies, we call ourselves) worry about other things. How is the stitch holding up? What is that watery discharge? What is considered excessive discharge? Why is the baby kicking so low in my vagina? Is it normal? Why isn't my obgyn putting me on any progesterone like most of the others in that forum I'm in? Can I cope with another loss if anything happens to this baby? How not to go crazy with this bedrest which is going on and on? (Read Week 17 here)
There is this facebook support group which helped me through my first 2 IC pregnancies and helping me tremendously through my current one. The Incompetent Cervix Awareness Group is non judgmental, helpful, supportive and because they consist of women from all over the world with various timelines, be assured to get 24-hour advice and assurances you need! They are real life moms with real life incompetent cervix issues, people who had lost their babies and survived emotionally. People who had miracle stories to tell during the times you need them most, and this is one group you don't have to be shy about asking questions like, "How do I cope not having sex with hubby for 6 months?" or "I had an intense orgasm last night with the most amazing dream. Will it affect my cerclage?"
At Week 18, we are getting nearer to viability date. On the flip side, this is also a 'danger zone', as our baby is getting bigger and heavier, thus putting more pressure on our cervix. We may worry about cervical length at this point, or funnelling, and some of us may even wonder the differences. But trust in the cerclage. That is what it is for in the first place. Funnelling usually begins at the internal orifice of the cervix, which, if it reaches 100%, may cause dilation of the cervix and cause preterm labour. This is usually caused by pressure on the cervix, mostly by the weight of the pregnancy itself. Cervical length, on the other hand, is where the cervix (which, is 4 cm for a normal pregnancy) gets thinner and shorter (this process is called effacement) Both funnelling and shortening of the cervix should only happen when labour is near, but we are diagnosed with an incompetent cervix in the first place because all these are happening way before we are even in the 3rd trimester. While there is really no need to know all these technical terms, there is a good reason why most of us are put on bedrest. It is still a controversial issue whether bedrest helps, but from what I experienced through 3 pregnancies, and from reading comments and posts from others in the same boat, it appears to help VERY MUCH.
While all these may be worrying, do try to keep positive, put your feet up (literally) and try to enjoy the pregnancy. It is not easy, of course, and you may feel like knocking the next person who says "Take it easy" on the head, but do allow yourself some days to just smile and enjoy the little movements in your tummy. Yes, that's your baby.
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 17, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 18 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
How's the bedrest coming along? Whether it is a modified bedrest, strict bedrest or simply told to 'take it easy' after the cerclage placement, your lifestyle would have changed quite a bit. If you were a health freak to begin with (read : 3 hourly 5 day weekly intensive gym sessions) then any form of 'take it easy' will be enough to make you cringe by now. After all, it has been 3 weeks. I felt totally incompetent after my strict bedrest with No.1 (it was an emergency TVC at 23w4d that no one saw coming) but at the end of it when I held my full term baby in my arms (truly, my miracle baby, as I didn't even know the implication of being 100% effaced and 2 cm dilated at that point of time), it was all worth it.
Listen to your doctor. Even if you feel upbeat, anything can happen anytime. Your cerclage is not foolproof. You don't really want to take a gamble, because once it happens... there is no way to stop it. And there is no turning back. You would have lost a baby, as your baby is not yet viable at 17 weeks, and you really don't want to be going through what I went through (and am still going through) (read Week 16). You just have to be mentally strong, for the sake of your baby. I agree that no amount of preparation would prepare you for a prolonged bedrest, but see it as an opportunity to gather your thoughts, indulge in your hobbies like reading, crocheting, or maybe just being a couch potato for once. I mean, since the birth of your oldest child, when was the last time you caught up with the latest season of CSI and CSI: New York and Law & Order : SVU?
Well, you may even want to catch up with friends, arrange for them to visit, or a simple chat over the phone or over the internet. Learn to meditate, pray, start a blog, and what I learnt 19 weeks into my 3rd bedrest is... HAVE A SCHEDULE! If you can get yourself into a routine, time will pass faster. I have even arranged for my miracle 6 year old to be home after school instead of daycare so that I can spend some time with him. He can even help with fetching me a glass of water or picking up the toys he and his 2 year old brother left behind the previous evening. Once there is a routine going, it wouldn't be so bad. Here's an online forum which offers great help, advice and sharing from moms who are in the same boat as you! http://mamasonbedrest.com/2011/01/2100/
Also, this week, especially if this is not your first pregnancy, look out for the familiar flutter in your tummy. You may begin to feel the little one moving, and it is another milestone where you are suddenly reassured that there is actually a little human being inside you. Continue to eat well, and be alert and aware at all times of any tightening, and any discharge. Many of us worry about colourless discharge at this point, as we often worry about leaking amniotic fluid due to our incompetent cervix. But bear in mind that you may be on progesterone suppositories, and this may increase some watery discharge. If the tightening persists over long periods of time, or becomes too often throughout the day, do mention to your doctor. In normal pregnancies (and you may read this on other normal pregnancy guide websites), this is called the 'practice contractions', or the Braxton Hicks contractions, which, in NORMAL pregnancies, may not affect your cervix. But we already know don't we, that our pregnancy is far from normal. In fact, it is a high risk pregnancy. And an incompetent cervix means you dilate without symptoms in the first place. So any form of contraction is no good.
The take home this week is : Stay alert.
