WEEK 28 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - 3rd TRIMESTER!

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 28, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 23 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.


Are we really in the 3rd trimester already? Yes, we are almost there! Can you believe that we have actually stayed in bed for the entire 14 weeks since our cerclage??? WOO HOO!!!! This calls for celebration! A glass of red wine, perhaps. I heard it's good to settle down contractions. :)

While other websites for normal pregnancies will tell you to look out for signs of diabetes, pre-eclampsia and all those 'normal risks', well, as IC mommies, what we should look out for is preterm labour (read all about it in Week 27).  You may ask, what is the difference between the 'normal' preterm labour and preterm labour as a result of the incompetent cervix?

Well, preterm labour can happen anytime after your 20th week of pregnancy (before the 20th week it is considered a miscarriage), and there are many causes, including an incompetent cervix.  The thing about an incompetent cervix is, there is usually nothing wrong with our babies, or uterus, or the placenta, or even our physical wellbeing.  We are healthy, there is truly nothing wrong with us or our babies, it's a MECHANICAL problem.  The cervix is supposed to do its job and keep the baby IN and other things (like infection) OUT (read Week 9) .  It is supposed to shorten, dilate and open only shortly before labour, not in our 2nd trimester! Unfortunately, this is what it is all about. It either shortens, or dilate, or funnel, way before it is supposed to.  Some of us are born with a short cervix anyway.  The cerclage (read Week 13 and Week 14) seems to be the popular option, believed to be 80 to 90% successful in keeping the babies in until fullterm.

Most doctors prescribe bedrest together with a preventive cerclage in a planned incompetent cervix pregnancy, and I remember I was up and about a month after my 2nd preventive transvaginal cerclage.  But each cerclage is as different as each pregnancy is different, as each woman is different. If you have come this far, you will be in a state where you know the chances of survival of your baby is high even if she/he is born prematurely now, but then again, we always want the best for our babies.  If we can carry till fullterm, why do we want to take any risk at all?

This is a week where you just sit back and reflect.  Your journey may have been different from mine. You may have lost your babies before, and Week 28 is the furthest you have ever been.  You may be pregnant for the 1st time and struggling to understand what is this incompetent cervix all about.  Or you may have been thoroughly prepared, mentally, physically and financially, for this pregnancy which you know is going to be a high risk one.  Or you have just been diagnosed and it is too late for a cerclage and you don't know if you can carry to fullterm.  Whatever your journey entails, stay strong and have faith.  I never knew I was going to have 2 beautiful boys, and pregnant with a 3rd one - a baby girl, what with PCOS and an incompetent cervix to top that.  Miracles do happen.

Remember to eat healthily, take the opportunity to rest and see this bedrest as a blessing to soul search.  To bond with your children at home.  And be thankful for all the support you have received through this all.

WEEK 25 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - The Fitness Mom

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 25, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 22 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
 
From now on, take comfort in the fact that baby is going to put on more and more weight.  And birth weight is always associated with viability of a preterm baby (Read more about viability in Week 24).  Of course we are still heading towards fullterm, but we also know that our pregnancy is a high risk one. 

You are probably piling on some, too. Weight, that is. If you were a fitness freak who thought you could kickbox your way through to birth day, you may have been sorely disappointed when you were diagnosed with an incompetent cervix as you know then it is no longer possible.  Even for those of us who need not go on strict bedrest, high impact exercises are certainly not encouraged.  And for some reason the flab comes on faster than the muscles don't they?  I mean, it took us ages to tone those thighs and arms, but now 6 months into our pregnancy and perhaps bedrest for the last 3 months and there... the clumpy flabby disgusting looking bye bye granny arms and thunder thighs. UGH!!!! 

Fret not!  First of all, we will probably lose all the cellulite (that's what those clumpy looking thing is, and it's made up of water retention due to our pregnancy and of course... lack of exercise) within the first 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding (I lost mine within 3 months as I was producing something like 18oz of breastmilk every 4 to 6 hours - yea they call me COW).  And of course you can go back to the gym after your period of confinement.  Just to encourage you guys, I gained a total of 24kg for my 2nd pregnancy (I was on modified bedrest since cerclage was in at Week 15 all the way till Week 37 when stitch was off and my appetite was GREAT at all times) but lost 27kg within 4 months after given birth all just through breastfeeding. No dieting (if I was eating like a horse during pregnancy, I was eating like 5 horses throughout my 2 year breastfeeding period) and no intensive exercise.

Ok, that's after confinement.  What about now? Surely there are some exercises we can do now, bedrest or not? Furthermore, totally no movement isn't exactly healthy and may cause side effects like deep vein thrombosis and pulmonary embolism.   Here are some exercises which you may safely do even with prescribed bedrest, but DO CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR first, as all our incompetent cervix pregnancies are different.

1. Kegels: Draw the pelvic-floor muscles that surround your vagina up like an elevator climbing up to your belly button, tightening them as if you are stopping the flow of urine; do not squeeze your buttocks. Hold for 10 seconds, breathing normally, then slowly release. Repeat 10-20 times. Benefits Helps you identify, control and strengthen your pelvic-floor muscles; this can help prevent urinary incontinence and speed healing after childbirth.

2. Chest and shoulder opener: Lace your fingers behind your head, opening your elbows wide. Sit tall and lean back slightly, lifting your chest as you breathe deeply until you feel your ribcage expand. Exhale as you draw your elbows down toward your knees and relax. Do five times, building up to 10. Benefits Increases lung capacity, improves posture, stretches the chest and shoulders and makes you feel alert and awake.

3. Ribcage breathing: Grasp your upper torso, spreading your fingers wide along your ribcage. Inhale deeply through your nose (feeling your ribcage expand under your fingers). Exhale through your mouth as you gently draw your belly in and do a Kegel. Do five times, working up to 10. Benefits Strengthens your deep abdominal and pelvic floor muscles; improves breathing and circulation, giving you a boost of energy.

4. Gentle pelvic tilts: Sitting “Indian style,” with knees bent, inhale through your nose as you lift your chest and lengthen your neck, arching your back. Exhale through your mouth as you round your spine, gently tucking your pelvis under, and draw your abs in as you do a Kegel. Return to the starting position and do five times, building up to 10. Benefits Promotes circulation throughout your entire body and gently tones the deep belly muscles, aiding digestion.

5. Upper-body strengthener: Pull your abs in and draw your shoulders back and down as you raise your arms out to the sides at shoulder height and bend your elbows 90 degrees. Inhale, then exhale as you press your arms overhead, squeezing your arm, shoulder and upper back muscles. Keep squeezing as you slowly lower your arms. Repeat 10-15 times. Benefits Increases upper-body strength and stamina (you’ll need these to carry your baby and all her gear!) and improves posture.

6. Lower-leg mobility: Stretch your legs out in front of you and pull your abs in. Roll your ankles clockwise10 times, then switch directions. Next, flex your feet, pointing your toes toward your knees. Repeat 10 times. Benefits Increases lower-leg circulation and helps maintain strength and flexibility.
(Source : http://www.fitpregnancy.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-health/bed-rest-workout)

If you are advised to refrain from even these exercises, then do so.  After all, we are already at this point, and we do want a healthy fullterm baby don't we?

WEEK 21 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - SEX AND ORGASM AFTER CERCLAGE

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 21, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 21 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
OH! The regular week by week pregnancy guide I'm following just told me that most of the early pregnancy woes are gone and I should be feeling pretty relaxed and wonderful now!  And the only thing I would probably worry about now is ACNE!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT! Ok... yes I do notice how my scalp gets oilier than usual (but I can't be washing my hair everyday due to bedrest constraints, can I?) and acne is suddenly popping up on my forehead and my face like a teenager (not that I used to have acne problems in my teenage years) but that is the LEAST of my concerns!!! And oh... we are supposed to 'crave sex' around this time, as we no longer suffer the nausea of 1st trimester and yet we are not exactly a hippo of 3rd trimester yet, hence the biggest question in our heads is supposed to be... which position is most suitable?  Hm.... THIS IS THE EXACT REASON WHY I DECIDED TO WRITE THIS SERIES OF BLOG FOR IC MOMMIES EXCLUSIVELY!!!

Ok, sex is out. In fact, some of us are told that all pelvic activities are out, in other words, not only no sexual intercourse, but no orgasms as well, not even sexual arousal! Frankly, some of us may feel rather comfortable with the TAC or the TVC in, and many doctors may allow us to resume our 'normal activities', and true enough, with the additional blood flow to our genitals we may feel like we are in a perpetual state of arousal.  So I have observed that many women did go ahead to have sexual intercourse, some resort to 'just insertion of the tip of the penis', while others are just happy with heavy petting with dear hubby without actual intercourse.  

This subject is not very much discussed, and I even came across a forum where one IC mommy asked the question and was bombarded with hurtful accusations, some even abusive about how could she worry about something as trivial as sex when her own baby's life is at stake?  I'm not going to be judgmental here, but a lot of these angry mommies are mommies with preemies and mommies who had actually lost their babies due to IC, so I can understand the fury.  But on the other hand, how many of us have not actually thought of sex just because there is a cerclage within us?  How many of us have not actually scoured the internet for answers to this so called taboo question?  How many of us have not actually went to sleep exhausted only to be awakened rudely by an intense but involuntary orgasm following a very intense wet dream?

This is a very difficult situation isn't it? I guess I was lucky as my husband never brought up the subject, and he never demanded for anything unless I was feeling up to it and he settled for a handjob, or oral sex (you on him, not vice versa, you don't want to risk any infection!)  To be sure, you may ask your doctor and discuss this topic, but again, how many of us would actually do that without some degree of embarassment? So we scour the internet for answers, and while most sites will tell you to abstain, discussions by real moms in real forums will tell you very different answers.  Yes, ask 10 different moms and you will get 10 very different answers.  Towards the end of the day, you decide. And perhaps these are some questions you can ask yourself before making that decision :

1) How was your last visit to the doctor? Did he mention your cerclage is holding well and your cervix length is fantastic and there is almost no funnelling?

2) Was it a TAC or a TVC? If it was a TVC, was it a preventive one or an emergency one after you have already started to dilate/funnel? Is this your first TVC? Were there any scar tissues from previous TVCS? What was the condition of your cervix?

3) Since your cerclage, were there any complications? Any bleeding after the week of the cerclage placement? Any twinges and cramps and pains? Any further funnelling? What about contractions - is your uterus more irritable than ever? What about discharge?

4) Do you understand the biology of what happens during sexual activities?  There will be uterine contractions, your cervix may ripen and funnel further, and prostaglandins in semen may trigger premature labour.  There is a reason why some old wives' tale tell you to have a lot of sex after your due date and your baby isn't coming yet!

5) Are you feeling comfortable, physically and emotionally to go ahead with it?

6) If you are reading this at Week 21, your baby is not viable yet.  Are you willing to lose the baby should your sexual activities bring about premature labour?  If you are reading this even after baby is past its viability, are you financially and emotionally equipped to look after a premature baby who may end up in the NICU for weeks, maybe months? What if the premature baby suffers some permanent disability? Is it all worth it? 

Does giving in to a moment's temptation worth it? Do the benefits actually outweigh the risks? Always remember, every pregnancy is different, and so every incompetent cervix pregnancy is different. Even if you have gotten away with daily sex with the previous cerclage, will this time around be as lucky?

Let us ponder about this a moment this week. For there are still at least 16 more weeks to come.  If you think about it, 16 weeks isn't that long.  16 weeks ago, you have just found out that you were pregnant. Not that long ago, eh? :)

WEEK 16 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE TOILET PAPER TEST

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 16, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 18 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
If you had your cerclage 2 weeks ago, you should have stopped bleeding by now.  If you still see fresh blood, you probably need to press the panic button and rush yourself to the ER.  You may have more discharge, and they may appear as clear fluid.  And the constant worry is always : Is my waterbag leaking?  Before you press the panic button for this one, do consider the fact that most of those with a fresh cerclage tend to discharge more, ranging from brownish spottin Are you continuing to eat healthily?  Or you just grab whatever available closest to you as you are on bedrest, probably home alone and you can't cook.  Some on you on modified bedrest may be allowed to cook, carry out some household chores, shower, perhaps go to work if it is an office job.

Some of you may have been advised to continue being on bedrest.  I have heard some practices where the doctor actually keep you hospitalised until your baby reaches its viability.  There are just so many different degrees of bedrest, and it all very much depend on several factors (Read Week 15 here).

I was just musing over the fact that we, moms with an incompetent cervix, or for that matter, most pregnant moms (more so those of us with this  particular condition) are probably the only people on earth who would obsess about our toilet paper wipes so much that we stare, examine, smell, touch (or GOD FORBID, TASTE???? Anyone?) them after each toilet visit.  Some of us are understandably stressed each time we had to go to the toilet, and it doesn't help that we are advised to drink lots of water to prevent contractions and infection, plus the fact that being pregnant in itself makes us go to the toilet more often!  It is stressful because we know every trip to the toilet causes pressure to the cervix, and for those who have been advised to "Strict bedrest, get up ONLY for toilet trips".... I mean, seriously? We are not talking about 3 times a day trip, we are talking about hourly trips! 

The stitch is still new and raw, it is perhaps the best time to rest. Take it REAL easy.  If situation permits, just stay off your feet, pee and poo in the bedpan.  It's better to be paranoid than to be sorry, because at this stage your baby is not viable and if you rupture your waterbag, there is pretty much nothing that can be done.  Take it from me, I have had my regrets of trying to cheat on my bedrest only to find myself funnelling to the stitch at this early stage.  It's just not worth it, as even if the stitch DOES hold your pregnancy to full term, why do you want to put yourself through unncessary worry and stress?  Your hubby is probably dead tired from work everyday and he has to pick up the kids, the laundry, get dinner, clean up after dinner, bathe the kids, feed the kids, so the very least you could do now is to be cheerful when he gets back instead of burdening him with further lamentations of yours about how shitty your day had been.

It's never easy, and it's part of the 'curse' of the incompetent cervix, but the blessing is, you will see how patient your husband is, and how stoic he is having to put up with you emotionally and putting up with the kids physically, and it may strengthen your marriage.  Besides, this is also the time when you know who your real friends are... not just those who post "How are you" on your facebook wall, but those who actually comes to visit you with bags of goodies and proceed to do your laundry for you.  There aren't many, believe me.  And when you have gone through this 3 times, your 'true friend filter' will filter out the last of it.  And that's when you appreciate your handful of wonderful friends.

WEEK 12 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - SYMPTOMS OF THE CONDITION?

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 12, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 17 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
 
What prompted me to start this series of blogs in the first place is because I am so sick of tired of scouring hundreds of "Week by Week Pregnancy Guide" sites that tell you the 2nd trimester marks the beginning of your "honeymoon period".  Supposedly, this is the trimester when you are not too large to be feeling clumsy yet, yet the morning sickness is over and the risk of miscarriage is significantly lower and it's time for that short babymoon and back to EXERCISE!!! You know what, whilst it may be true for most women, the start of the 2nd trimester for us moms with incompetent cervix is the start of a long tiring road to holding our little Rainbows in our arms!

No, the end of 1st trimester may be well and good when it comes to morning sickness, but the risk of miscarriage has just worsened, for us with this condition.  Unfortunately, many of us may not even know yet that we have this condition.  More often than not, there are no symptoms until it is already too late, and we don't even know the exact cause of the condition.  Sad to say, in some countries, women continue to lose their babies during late pregnancies without ever knowing why.  From observation, most women lose their babies between 20 to 24 weeks, and at that point of time our little ones are just simply too little to survive.  They are considered not to be of viability yet, and even if they survived after agonising months in the NICU, they may have a long road to recovery, or may even suffer permanent defects. 

At this stage, we have to start being careful about our activities, particularly those involving pelvic movements - sexual intercourse may not be wise as we may not know the condition of our cervix.  The ultrasound at this stage may still be unable to pick up abnormalities of the cervix yet, but within weeks, or even days, the changes may start. Here's an excerpt from Women's Health UK website on possible ways to detect IC : 


"There are descriptions of cervical assessment before pregnancy to try and detect those who may benefit from a stitch. These include checking cervical resistance or compliance, with a dilator, or specialised instrument. Whilst promising, no studies have yet found a predictor of poor outcome as good as a previous pregnancy loss.
Transvaginal ultrasound (TVS) during pregnancy has shown some promise. The usual length of the cervix is about 4cm as measured on TVS. Women with a cervical length of less than 2.5cm have been found to have a 50% risk of preterm delivery in one study. Other studies have looked at opening of the internal section of the cervix ('funnelling' or 'beaking') in response to pressure on the top of the uterus. It does seem that this finding early in pregnancy is suggestive of cervical incompetence and that the findings are progressive throughout pregnancy.
These studies are really still at an early stage and it takes a great leap to presume that on the basis of these findings alone a stitch will improve things. Larger observational studies and a cerclage study on the scale of the MRC/RCOG will hopefully follow and define the place of this investigation. At the present, this type of scan is generally confined to research centres in the UK and is certainly not to be considered 'standard of care'."

A positive outlook is of utmost importance at this point of time.  It has never been particularly pleasant for me, as I enjoyed my physical activities, especially my gym sessions and my running around and clowing around with my toddler and my preschooler.  Sometimes the guilt sets in when they want to be carried, or they just want you to take them to the pool. Do join forums and support groups, it helps to a certain degree.  But towards the end of the day, you will have to find peace within yourself to prepare yourself mentally for what is to come.

WEEK 8 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE PREPARATION NOW THAT IT'S REAL

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 8, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

If you are seeing your baby for the first time on the ultrasound, I can feel your excitement! You may even be able to hear his/her heartbeat, and you might be so tempted to announce to the world now that it is sooooo real!!!

But if already know you have the condition of an incompetent cervix and this is another 'IC baby' (as we IC moms fondly refer to our little babies), you may start having mixed feelings.  Along with other 1st trimester pregnancy worries, you know that while others look forward to Week 14 as it marks the end of the 1st trimester, that will be the time when we will have to undergo the cerclage procedure.  Some of us may already have some changes to our cervix, or if you are like me, you have a short cervix to begin with.  You may not know of your condition yet, but some countries are already making it compulsory for cervical length to be checked at 16 weeks (do refer to Week 7 on England NHS's petition).  I have also shared some of the worries (financially, psychologically and physically) in Week 7. 

Some of us do get some bleeding/spotting at this point.  I was diagnosed with subchrionic hematoma
which is supposedly common, but how many pregnant women like the idea of bleeding during her pregnancy? Blood is never a good sign, and seeing a dark patch around the sac on the ultrasound isn't exactly reassuring.  The happy ending says the blood clot will dissolve on its own, the unhappy ending says you end up in a miscarriage.  Either ways, it is especially not a welcomed diagnosis for an IC mom, simply because this should be the last few weeks of normal activity, perhaps even a few more gym sessions before the dreaded bedrest (modified, strict or otherwise), but with a subchrionic hematoma, again bedrest is prescribed. So now what... instead of 6 months of restricted activity, it has become 8???

But well... if it is for the good of having that little bundle of joy in your arms in the end... WHY NOT? If I have to do this over and over again, I would.  But at this point, perhaps the question of whether you would stop having babies may pop up with hubby (ignore the rest, remember?). For me, this is my 3rd IC baby. and my OBGYN noted during my cerclage procedure 2 weeks ago that there were scar tissues from my previous cerclages, and he had to stitch around and away from those scar tissues. It will not get easier or less risky if I do decide to have more babies. He did mention I may have issues with dilation when labour comes (cervical dystocia). And of course, other factors like, will your career be once again stagnanted, how about finances? If you already have 2 or 3 children, you will need to plan for their future as well.  Bedrest may affect them too, as most of them may still be a toddler, or a preschooler, and they  need lots of cuddles and attention and outings. Which, of course, is not possible with bedrest.

Since your pregnancy is now very real (there are statistics that show if you hear and see the heartbeat at 8 weeks, the chances of a continuing pregnancy increases to 98% as compared to just a couple of weeks ago when it was slightly above 60%), this is a good week to start making some solid plans for what is to come.  Start with the short term ones, like who will help out with household chores during the weeks (or months) of bedrest after the cerclage placement, who will chauffeur the older kids around to babysitters, playschools and piano lessons, who will prepare your meals, and what will you do to occupy yourself.  Do you have to inform your employer now? Should you?  It is best to be honest and open, tell your boss the possibilities, from the best to worst case scenario, and what to expect.  As for yourself, Be prepared for the best... or worst. You may be asked to leave, or you may be granted paid leave.  But always remember at the end of all this... what can be worth more than that Little Rainbow you will hold against your breasts?

WEEK 2 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - ONE IS ENOUGH?

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 2, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

Your period has stopped. You are feeling like a brand new woman (at least, for another cycle till PMS sets in again, unless, of course if this is the week you successfully conceived, then it will be PMS for the next 36 weeks or so!).  The sun is shining and you are prepping yourself up for the lovemaking sessions that is to come.  Some of us may be preparing for IVF, yet some of us may be frantically measuring our basal temperature, checking our cervical mucous for that 2-inch stretch, or buying all the ovulation kit you can find in the local pharmacy.  This is an exciting week!

But hey... RELAX.  From my experience, when I was told to 'do it every other day from days 7 to 15'... it didn't work.  If you are like me and you have PCOS, you may be put on Clomid and Metformin.  Then told to do the deed when it's time to do so.  Both times, it didn't work for me. With No. 1, I gave up after 6 rounds of Clomid and plenty of crying on the toilet seat when the first signs of period showed up.  I conceived the following month without any meds.  For No. 2, I conceived after 4 cycles of Clomid and Metformin, but lost the baby at 9 weeks for some unknown reasons.  After my D&C and lots of crying, I conceived within the next 2 cycles, again, without any meds.  No. 3 (the current 16 weeker) was the best.  I'm supposed to be PCOS right? So what's the probability of conceiving without any meds? No.1 and No.2 may have been 'triggered' by the meds.  But No. 3 made an appearance unexpectedly 3 months after I weaned off my 2 year old without any meds.  Just plenty of gym sessions and stress free lovemaking sessions!

Ok so I guess moral of the story is... a little bit of exercise, a lot of love and intimacy, and medicate if necessary. But miracles do happen.  Of course, if this is your 1st, you still have no idea that the incompetent cervix may be lurking behind the shadows of the excitement and anticipation, but if you are trying for a 2nd pregnancy, well, you know the cerclage will be coming in handy and the success rates are high (80% if I remember correctly from the websites I scoured).  If you already have a TAC (transabdominal cerclage), don't fret. You already know before you did it that it will barely affect your chances at conception.  Let worries worry themselves.  Don't forget those all-important folic acid, it doesn't matter if you do not conceive this month.  It won't harm you. Read Week 1 here

Of course, there may be some apprehension on hubby's side.  He may still be worried about your first loss, or your first bad experience with a preemie, or even if it was a full term pregnancy you may have gone through a traumatic emergency cerclage - whatever it is, lift each other up. Support each other and pull this through together.  Don't ever let that outsider tell you that 'one is enough'.  Keep your head up, maintain your stoicism, and have fun!

The Blessings and Curses of the Incompetent Cervix

What is incompetent ccervix? If you come from this part of the world where I come from, you probably wouldn't have even heard of it before. Cerclage? Modified bedrest? TVC? TAC? Strict bedrest? Shirodkar? Macdonald? What are those?

Just google. Yes Mr G our bff. And you will get an answer. The dos and donts, and many of the websites will tell you pretty much the same thing, main thing being "One of the symptoms of an incompetent cervix is multiple previous pregnancy losses". Like... huh??? You need to lose a baby or 2 before you get diagnosed? Oh it's just a miscarriage isn't it? After all, another website will tell you a certain percentage of women suffer miscarriage anyway don't they? I have miscarried at 9 weeks before, and let me tell you, it was devastating.  But with an incompetent cervix there is another painful twist to it. You would have carried the baby way past 1st trimester, your baby is fully formed, with arms and legs and eyes and nose... yes... it's a BABY. You would have bonded with the little one, prepared your nursery, named the child even, and felt those little kicks. With an incompetent cervix, your little baby is hale and hearty, no chromosonal defects whatsoever. YES. THE DEFECT IS WITH YOUR DARNED CERVIX. It can't hold your pregnancy. And you perfectly healthy baby slips out of your womb because your cervix is incompetent.

Look at my title. Blessings and curses? What blessings can there possibly be? Well, to divert for a while... I have long noticed how many hundreds of websites there are providing a 'week by week pregnancy guide' and these are guides for a healthy no risk pregnancy. Whenever Week 14 comes, they even tell you "OH THIS IS YOUR HONEYMOON TRIMESTER!!!" Well guess what? For women with an incompetent cervix. That is simply not the case. Week 14 is probably the week where you are scheduled for a cerclage. Ok I'm rambling. Point is, I will try my very best with just my experience and a little I gather from the forum for incompetent cervix women I'm in, I will start another blog WEEK BY WEEK starting from Week 1 itself. For women with incompetent cervix. There, I will explain further what is this all about.

But well... since I mentioned blessings. Ok, blessings. First of all, of course, the fact that you may almost certainly appreciate your babies more.  Every surviving child is a miracle child.  Some women who were never diagnosed went on to lose their babies in late pregnancies, with no surviving children at all.  Some women, eventhough diagnosed, lost their babies anyway even after a cerclage.  Some women had surviving preemie who never went on to have a normal life due to defects caused by just simply being a preterm baby.  So if your carried fullterm with an incompetent cervix, or if your surviving baby lives a happy healthy normal life... you will tend to appreciate your children more.  The little rainbow. The little miracle.

Secondly, the bedrest may be a good thing after all. It makes you slow down a little in terms of your career and all the activities you have been juggling since your schooldays.  You finally have time to read those books collecting dust on your bookshelf, or watch that DVD you bought ages ago, or to write that article you had always wanted published, and of course... time for soul searching. If you are like me, you finally have time to finally have time to gather your thoughts and find constructive ways to leave the job you have always despised.  You may even have time to get closer to God, perhaps open up that Bible you have left at the very bottom shelf....

Thirdly, you are now aware that this is a very real very possible condition.  You can help others. Create awareness.  Share your story with your friends. They don't have to lose anymore babies if they are aware that this is a possible condition and may even checked with their O&G if they have this condition.  You will be surprised that as learned and well read as you are, you never knew that this condition exist and is said to affect 5% of childbearing women.  All those week by week pregnancy guide will briefly mention incompetent cervix in a sentence and dismissed it as rare. How many of us will think that we belong to that 5%? We either don't want to consider it, or we don't think it's possible we are that unlucky. Ignorance is not bliss!

Let's not dwell on the curses shall we? I mean, by now you would have known what it comes with. But this is only the tip of the iceberg. Do follow me in my "WEEK BY WEEK INCOMPETENT CERVIX PREGNANCY GUIDE" if you want to know how is it like, week by week, day by day, for a woman with this condition.

To sum it up, I wanted 7 children since I was 5 years old. I watched Sound of Music and I wanted my own DO RE MI FA SO LA TI (remember that scene with Julie Andrews and the von Trapp children on the bullock cart and she was just pointing to the children with the horse whip while they sing their respective notes DO MI MI, MI SO SO, RE FA FA, LA TI TI) but then I was diagnosed with PCOS (this is another story altogether) and then the incompetent cervix. So I am already indeed blessed that I have 2 beautiful healthy boys and no.3 is 16 weeks in the oven! (Oh yeah, I'm bedresting and hence the ability to sit back relax and write this blog). Don't  think there will be anymore as the scar tissues from the previous cerclages are taking its toll on my cervix. But well, who is complaining?