Ok. Let's see. I have so much to say I don't know where to start and I don't know if it will end. Be FOREWARNED : This particular post is a bashing of sorts towards those who has issues with my kids. Or kids in general. Or just anything to do with kids. And be forewarned also that I will be using a lot of SUPERLATIVES (maybe even some expletives) and EXAGGERATION, as bringing up kids ARE A SUPERLATIVELY EXAGGERATING PROCESS!!!)
These are the people who would tell you that you are SPOILING your kids too much. Or that you shouldn't have too many kids, as the world economy is failing, the world is coming to an end, you are a bad parent, it's 'difficult to bring up kids these days'...... (do fill in the blanks. Nothing is too ridiculous for these child haters - ok maybe they are not child haters. They just don't think you in particular should have them). These are the people who would 'discipline' your kids right in front of your face without giving a second thought. These are the people who would WRITE ARTICLES and the people who SHARE THESE ARTICLES about how parents spoil their kids these days, and how babies shouldn't be picked up immediately when they cry because they would grow up to be monsteric adults, how we shouldn't allow our kids to watch youtube on our tablets during meals, and how we shouldn't find our dearest pet a new home because our new baby is allergic to cats and was suffering from serious bouts of asthma attacks.
I have noticed, over the years, that these people are more or less (I said 'more or less' because I AM GENERALISING, there are some rare exceptions, but they are RARE, but most of these BULLIES as I would call them throughout this blog, have these dispositions and tendencies) of the following dispositions and tendencies :
1) THEY DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN
Yes, because if they do, they wouldn't be child-haters. With maybe the few exceptions of the moms who had kids because 'it was an accident', or because of in law/spouse pressure, or HORRORS....PEER PRESSURE!!! (Yea, the 40 year old former beauty queen who needed a baby next to her as a fantastic accessory to her botox and boobjob.) I have had enough of people without kids trying to give me advice about kids. Recently, a post by a schoolteacher about not spoiling or 'servicing' our kids by not allowing them to be 'bored sometimes'. I mean, really? It's got nothing to do with spoiling or servicing. We just want to have a decent meal in a restaurant or shop in a public place without any major meltdowns, which, YOU THE VERY SAME PEOPLE WHO ARE WRITING AND SUPPORTING THIS KIND OF RUBBISH, would have a problem with. Yea, if we do not occupy them with tablets, puzzles, games and activities and they DO GET BORED, and they start to make noise, YOU, BULLIES would be the very same persons to give us the murderous stare!!!
Oh... this schoolteacher who wrote this article (which went viral, it seems), DOES NOT HAVE ANY CHILDREN!!! But when he does, '...sometime in the future...' AHhhhhhhh..... the IFS and the WHENS. Of course, everything is easier said than done. In foresight and in hindsight. If I were an astronaut, if I were a bird, when I become a billionaire.... oh come on, do you really think only kids 'these days' get bored easily? Kids get bored!!! Period. I don't need to do intensive science research to know this. I'm a mom. I have nieces and nephews. I was a kid. I had a baby brother. Kids are easily bored because they absorb information all the time and they have the basic human instinct to explore and discover. They need to learn. If they don't learn they are bored. Simple as that. I don't need 16 YEARS OF TEACHING EXPERIENCE to know this. I know this because I'm a mom. By the way, I do agree with your point no.2 and 3. Except that I don't know which planet you are coming from, but the kids I know and the kids I raise... they don't fall into that category. And parents are proud parents anyway, whether their kids burped or farted. Or had a blob of ink on the paper and call that art. We are parents. We are proud of our kids.
And I just have to mention this... some of my friends on my fb list actually shared this lame, thoughtless rubbish on their fb walls, and tada..... they all do not have kids!
2) THEY DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN
Oh, that was my No.1? Oops... But maybe that is all there is to it. They do not have children. Why else would they have a problem with me finding a new home for my cat when my baby had serious, numerous asthma attacks due to allergy to animal fur? I am very tempted to put no.2 as 'they tend to be animal lovers', but then I remembered many many of my friends (who, incidentally, are single and do not have children - but they are of course the wonderful exceptions) who love animals and love my kids too. And they understand the need for me to give away my beloved tabby (who has since passed on) because my no.2 was asthmatic and it was proven that the trigger was cat fur. We stayed up many many nights, wondering if the baby was breathing. We had many many incidents at the emergency room when baby had the attacks, and many many long duration in the hospitals, with the nebuliser constantly stuck to his small little face. So no, we are not cat haters. Nor animal haters. We love animals (in fact, most animal lovers are LOVERS.). But you see, my human child is a human child. And of course my baby's wellbeing and LIFE is more important than Miao Miao. Besides, it would be CRUEL to lock Miao Miao up in a room or in a cage just because we didn't want her fur to fly around the house. We found her a good home and she had a very very good life till the day she was put down at the grand old age of 19. My baby is now 4 and is still very sensitive to certain allergens.
And I need to add that one of my very bestfriends is a paediatrician, and she is single. She doesn't have any kids. But she has formal education and training and experience with kids. So she is allowed to tell me what to do with my kids. She is allowed to give her opinion. She doesn't force her opinions (medically trained ones, that is) on me. She loves my kids. And she told me I couldn't keep the cat. So unless you are a child doctor, don't try to tell me what to do with my kids. I didn't ask.
3) THEY HAVE THEIR OWN ISSUES AS PARENTS
Ok, at least no.3 isn't the same as no1 and 2. Now I'm talking about those with kids. I am also a parent, and I'm struggling as a parent. These babies did not come with manuals. Yes there are numerous books in the stores telling you how to deal with tantrums and toddlers... but the writers are not YOU. They DO NOT HAVE YOUR KIDS AS THEIR KIDS. Every child is different and every child is unique. So just because you are a parent, you have NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to force your ideas and beliefs onto others!!!
You may have gotten it right with your own kids (or maybe not), but that doesn't mean that it will apply to my kids. I didn't ask for your advice anyway.
If you are insecure about whether your children are brought up right, and whether they are the cause of HAVOC AND CHAOS AT EVERY SINGLE PARTY THEY ATTEND, that is NOT MY PROBLEM and YOU DO NOT HAVE RIGHT TO console yourselves but telling the world (ok, maybe not the world, but publicly posting on your fb wall is an extremely childish thing to do) that it was MY CHILD who was the BAD one and your children were the ANGELS. Seriously, most of the time you just scream and shout and hit your kids, in public, and you can't control them at all. Or you can't be bothered. You are one of those parents who think buying them expensive toys every single weekend make up for bad parenting... so pleases do not try to tell me what to do with my kids!
I mean, ok, my kids aren't angels. They are boys. But hubby and I STRIVE to keep them under control all the time, and we are successful most times. Thing is, we try. And we do not try to discipline others' kids, especially when the parents are around (eventhough sometimes, we are so tempted to tell a child off because the parents who were there couldn't be bothered). I could keep our christmas tree up year after year with our kids. The first time it was destroyed, it was someone else's children. Why do parents allow their kids to mess up others homes?!!!!
I'm a parent. I don't let my kids go to others' homes and take out toys on their own, break things, tear up things, or touch anything at all without the permission of the host. And even with the permission of the host, if we knew our kids would be overexcited and would start messing up things, we would politely decline the invitation to take out those boxes and boxes of toys.
Ok, I need to conclude now. Enough of ranting and venting.
Basically, I love my kids and I would do anything to protect them from harm, be it physical harm or mental harm. And I would sacrifice anything, even friendships, for my kids. You are toxic if you do not have constructive criticisms towards my kids. You are allowed to criticise and share your opinions, but make sure you have the right to. Make sure you know what you are saying and make sure your intentions are good. Whenever I try to 'dish out' advice to other parents, I would politely tell them this is how I handle my kids, and I would tell them it doesn't mean it will work with their kids and it doesn't mean it works with my own kids all the time, but here it is.... YOU DO NOT SHOVE SOMETHING AS SENSITIVE AND AS PERSONAL AS CHILD UPBRINGING INTO OTHERS' THROATS.
The last time I did that, I almost lost a sister. She did not speak to me for 2 months. I learnt my lesson. I hope you learnt yours soon.
