Nausea (it's not really morning sickness if it's all day round ain't it?), frequent toilet trips, breast tenderness... are you sure you can still keep this little secret to yourself? With my first two pregnancies, I didn't even know what is morning sickness all about. It's like THE most popular tell-all for pregnant women (the movies say so) but I never had such thing. My appetite was voracious, I ate everything and anything, and someone who couldn't stand sweet things, my tastebuds suddenly developed an affection for ice cream and chocolates.
Then the 3rd pregnancy came by. I was nauseous the entire day for the entire 1st trimester. I was hungry all the time (that was the first sign I suspected something amiss, since No. 3 was not planned) but the moment I prepared myself a sandwich, or a bowl of noodle, I started to gag. And I gag at even the SMELL of sweet things. Well... what are your stories? DO tell!!!
As I understand it, in some parts of the USA, the doctor will not see you until you are at least 8 weeks. Here, we run to the OBGYN at the first faint line on our home pregnancy test kit. Well, if you haven't seen your little one on the ultrasound yet, time to be excited about it. Also, time to prepare those questions you may want to ask. Some of it I have spoken about in last week's post (Read Week 6).
If this is your first pregnancy or you do not know if you have an incompetent cervix, you may not even bring it up. Some countries have made it compulsory for cervix length to be checked, some have not. Recently it came to my attention that England has started a petition for it http://www.change.org/p/nhs-england-cervical-incompetence-nhs-to-make-cervical-checks-mandatory-from-16-25-weeks-save-babies-lives and I do wonder if I should initiate one in Malaysia too. I have heard too many stories of late pregnancy losses among my friends and acquaintance, yet nobody seems to have heard about incompetent cervix when I said I have it. Your bosses and colleagues may even think you are making it up just to find excuse to take long leave to bedrest at home. In a way I was lucky to have an understanding employer who made necessary arrangements for me to work from home, but you will know if your colleagues are not too happy about it - the backstabbing and badmouthing would have started. Like... women got pregnant since the beginning of time, what's so special about you?
Well, I did quit after that to set up my own practice, for more flexible hours since I enjoyed being a mom. But do consider your finannces as this condition comes with a cost. Insurance of course does not cover this condition in my country (I bet they haven't even heard of it before). The cost of a transvaginal cerclage with a spinal block and a 24-hour hospital stay is about RM2500 to RM3500 (USD750 to USD1000), perhaps more depending on which hospital and which state you live in Malaysia. If you are a salaried employee, your employer may or may not be agreeable to a paid leave (if you are hospitalised they may be obliged to grant you paid leave, but if you are merely at home on bedrest, they may even be contractually allowed to terminate your employment). If you are running your own business, you may lose your clients and customers (again, depending on the nature of your job). So where will your income be coming from? You need to know when will your cerclage be placed, and what is the period of your bedrest thereafter. A lot of OBGYN won't be able to tell you a definite answer as it depends on the response of your pregnancy (particularly your cervix) to the procedure.
Yes, there will be a lot of uncertainties for the next few months, and you really have to be mentally prepared for it. If you think your career is more important and decide to return to work just because you feel much better and more secure after your cerclage, WHAT IF.... just WHAT IF you lose your baby again? Is that a risk you are willing to take? On the other hand, if you do not go back to work, how will you cope financially? Will you be able to cope with prolonged house arrest/bedrest, shut away from the bustling life you used to have? With No.1 it was an emergency cerclage at 23 weeks, I was not prepared for it at all. In fact I started bleeding blood clots that night after a kickboxing session followed by step aerobics at the gym, and the previous day I just returned from a babymoon trip with hubby, As a litigation lawyer I was walking up and down the courtrooms on a daily basis with heavy files and I was a chorister in the local church choir, the state choir and a local choral group. I never knew the meaning of rest. So the 3 month bedrest after the emergency cerclage which cut me off from the world almost killed me psychologically.
Well, if this is your 2nd or 3rd time bedresting, you may be more mentally prepared. You may have downloaded an entire series of James Patterson e-novels, or purchased an entire collection of DVDs of reruns of Law and Order : SVU Season 1 to the current season, but believe me, it doesn't get easier. So whatever choices you make about your bedrest will not only have to depend on what your OBGYN tells you, but also depends on the support you get from people around you, also, listen to your body, your mind, and start asking yourself if it is worth the risk of having a preemie, or to lose the baby altogether. Start thinking, and pray very hard for guidance.
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