WEEK 6 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - EMOTIONAL PREPARATION

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 6, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

Your morning sickness hitting hard, ain't it? Welcome to the world of 1st trimester difficulties.  As promised earlier, this series of blog is NOT meant to duplicate what the other websites are telling you, be it about your baby or the changes in your body.  It is meant to share with you (and you are of course most welcome to share your experiences, joys and pains in the comment section below!) my experience , physically and emotionally (and a whole lot of other aspects) of having incompetent cervix pregnancies.  Oh ya I feel obliged to mention spotting at this point and your fluctuating hormones... all part and parcel of having a little human being formed in you!

And oh, if you have been taking fertility drugs or actually had an IVF or any other fertility treatment, you may want to double check with your OBGYN whether you are expecting more than a baby. ONE baby laying down on your incompetent cervix is bad enough, if you have 2 or more, you may need extra precautions and advice. I don't know, I've never been through multiple pregnancies before! (Thank God? I don't know. If you read my previous weeks' postings, you would have known by now I adore kids).

So, are you ready to share the news to the whole world yet? (Read my take on this in Week 5 here).  There are always pros and cons. If you have had an early miscarriage before, you may want to keep it to yourself first because you know how painful it is when people ask you how's your pregnancy and you had to keep repeating that you already lost it.  Or you  may want to keep it to yourself because you didn't think it necessary to share good news to others who may see it as a bad news. You will never believe what I've been through... when people found out I was pregnant with No. 3, instead of the customary "Congratulations" they are more concerned about whether it's safe to have No. 3, whether I'm sure I want the child (like yea.... more than I want you as a friend you idiot), whether it would affect my work, and whether my hubby 'knows it yet' (like it's akin to news that someone died).  On the other hand, you may want to share it because you are just oh so happy (and of course if this is the first time you are dealing with an incompetent cervix, you probably wouldn't even know about it yet).

You may have already started calculating the date your cerclage will be placed, whether you will need bedrest, if so what sort, complete or modified, for a few days or few months, what should you tell your bosses and babysitters (to your older children, if any).  For me, I know I had to tell mom in law very soon as I would need her to come over to see to the 2 older kids right after my cerclage is placed.  

Emotionally, I know it was going to be difficult.  I had always wanted to be a stay at home mom but due to financial constraints I had to work.  No. 3 is a good excuse to finally reason with hubby that it makes some financial sense as cost of babysitting and the extra tuition and piano lessons are high. I can teach my kids.  I can look after my kids.  I can cook (eating out is costly too), and I can clean (hourly cleaners are costly too). But well, these are things to be considered in the weeks and months to come.  It doesn't harm to start thinking about it, especially if it soothes you emotionally. For me, hanging up the courtroom robe for good and spending time cooking cleaning and caring for my kids is also known as THE PERFECT LIFE! :)

You have about 9 more weeks to go before your cerclage is placed, and depending on various factors, you may need to be on some kind of bedrest for the rest of your pregnancy, so if you feel fit enough to hit the gym, do it now.  Shopping, of course. Clean up the house a bit before it looks like one of those 'before' images of the "Hoarders Intervention" reality series on Home and Health channel in the months to come (come on, even the best house cleaners teamed up with hubby will not be able to clean it the way you do!).  Most of all, spend time with your kids.  Take them out to the beach, maybe even a short holiday.  Other websites will tell you morning sickness may weigh you down and that 2nd trimester is when your 'honeymoon period' is, well... you have an incompetent cervix and the 2nd trimester will be your worst nightmare (sorry for this piece of reality) so leave your babymoon to the 2nd trimester. You know what? You don't have time for morning sickness and complaints about breast pains at this point, you have 9 weeks left to enjoy being a normal pregnant woman!

So hang in there.