WEEK 5 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 5, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

By this week, your pregnancy test would probably show an accurate positive. YAYYY!!!!

If you have been trying for a baby forever, or if you have just experienced a traumatic loss (be it due to incompetent cervix or other reasons) this may come as a wonderful news.  I have shared how different it is my feelings towards having a positive on my home pregnancy test kit. (Read Week 4 here).  To share further about the anxieties when No. 3 made an unexpected appearance, well... it was an immediate joy.  I have always wanted 7 children.  But due to the darned cervix I knew it was not a very practical want. Hubby was adamant that 2 beautiful healthy boys was enough.  Our financial situation was just getting better as I have my own law practice and each time I had to bedrest for long months, the income just wasn't there anymore. When you are your own boss, you just don't earn when you are not working. With No. 2, the bedrest was longer as I was put on bedrest since Week 15, the week the cerclage was placed.  And when I was 5 months along, still bedresting, hubby lost his job.  It was an extremely tough time.  So naturally I understand why hubby was so reluctant to have another baby, even with a now stable income and in fact a new home!

But I would give up any material things in the world for another baby in my arms! So I was elated... but breaking the news to hubby was one of the most unnerving thing to do.  I went to the OBGYN the next day(who happens to be hubby's childhood friend and bestfriend) to confirm the pregnancy. And he wished me luck with breaking the news to hubby.  He actually found it amusing! :)  That night, I was shivering and shaking all over when I gave the ultrasound picture to hubby.  He stared at it for a second and asked me what it was.  I told him "Our baby". He took another look at it and asked me "Is this real?" I said yes. He stared at it EXPRESSIONLESS for a good 5 minutes without a single word. His facial countenance revealed NOTHING. Then he took a deep breath and asked, "So when is it due? When is the cerclage? You do need a cerclage right?"  

It wasn't easy and I am writing this at 16 weeks, sometimes I still get the feeling that he hasn't come to terms with it yet.  And sometimes he does blurt out "This is the EXACT reason why I didn't want a third one," whenever I had a bad day, or sometimes he would jest (and it's not funny I tell you) "That's why we shouldn't have a 3rd one" when we discussed our state of celibacy.

Speaking of which, if some of you think that it's time to be having lots of sex now since you would be on pelvic rest till fullterm, do consider the fact that your cervix may already be funnelling, effacing, or even dilating at this point. Very unlikely but don't take any chances. If it is already shortening or dilating, there may be risk of infection (the very reason the cervix is there is to protect your pregnancy from infection but if it's already giving way, then....)  Best check with your OBGYN. This is no time to be bashful.

I am going to sound like an old broken record the next few weeks, but EAT HEALTHY!!! FOLIC ACID!!!

And oh, you may or may not want to share this piece of good news to others yet.  The risk of a miscarriage is still high (not due to IC but due to other early pregnancy losses issues) and if you are like me and you have had enough of those well meaning (and not so well meaning) people telling you rudely to 'keep your legs closed' and 'stop having kids' and 'you can't even handle 2 you sure you want another?', then you may want to just enjoy this little secret with the closest and trusted friends and family first.  For me, the last  count of such close and trusted friends was less than 5 fingers.  

Ok, let's get ready for next week!

 

WEEK 4 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - THE START OF AN IC PREGNANCY JOURNEY

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 4, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

If you have successfully conceived, your baby has already entered its embryionic stage!!! Its organs are beginning to be formed. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!!! Of course you still have no idea whether you are pregnant, and the most sensitive and expensive pregnancy test kit at this point may still come out negative!

You may or may not have experienced implantation bleeding (read Week 3 here).  And if you have, it is probably happening this week, and you may have recognised it. And there may even be a faint line on your kit, so yippee!!! To tell hubby or not to tell hubby? For me, with No. 1, I made that phone call immediately.  With No. 2, I waited till he gets home. No. 3 was unplanned and I knew how apprehensive he was, so I didn't say anything until the ultrasound at the OBGYN confirmed it.  Well, it's all up to you!

Well, since you can read all about the excitement and anticipation in other websites, maybe we can talk a little about those of us with an incompetent cervix.  It gets rather real now, doesn't it?  Your pregnancy test kit may have confirmed a pregnancy. Which means... another long road to holding a fullterm baby in your arms.  If you have had a bad experience or a loss, you just have to be positive this time around.  Maybe this time your cerclage will hold up.  Maybe this time your preventive cerclage will be much better than your emergency one the last time.  Maybe you are able to be on your feet again a few weeks after your cerclage! Again these are questions you want to start compiling to ask your OGBYN during that first visit soon.  If you are on facebook, do join this group of lovely ladies Incompetent Cervix Awareness.  I survived through 2 of my IC pregnancies with the support of this group.  They are not judgmental and they are ever ready to share and to give you lots of positive vibes.  Believe me, bedrest will take its toll on you physically as well as emotionally!

Continue to eat healthy. I cannot say this more.  Continue to enjoy these last few weeks of physical activity.  Clean your house, clear the mess, go shopping, exercise, a short holiday, and of course, lots of intimacy with hubby.  Soon both of you have to practice celibacy (well, at least he can still enjoy orgasm either on his own or with your assistance, but you have to be on STRICT PELVIC REST! ) so now is the time to perhaps satiate yourself :P

Again, steer clear of negative people.  Be around supportive and loving friends and family.  You will need lots of positive vibes for what is to come.  I don't mean to scare you, but we are going through a HIGH RISK PREGNANCY.  We cannot deny this fact.  Some well meaning advice, even from those whom had difficult pregnancies before, may not be relevant, perhaps even unwelcomed. Simply because our situation are different.  In fact, even among IC mommies, we react differently to the cerclage, and our cervix certainly do not respond the same way to the same procedures or medications. So just continue to be strong.