WEEK 33 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Guide - STRIKING THE BALANCE

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 33, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 25 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
  As an IC mommy, it is easy to forget that pregnancy is way more than just a cervix that wouldn't stay closed, or a cervix which just isn't long enough.  But at this stage of the pregnancy, it is time to start worrying about other things.  And of course, to start revelling in the fact that you have come so far and you deserve a break.  At the same time, we have to juggle between pushing it too far and to do all the things we hadn't been able to do when we were in the 'danger zone'.  At 33 weeks, baby is still pretty much premature, and what we are trying to achieve is a full term pregnancy.  Especially if we are carrying multiples, as our babies will be rather small at this point (read Week 32).

So how do we strike the balance?

Other mommies are probably having their baby showers now.  Full blown, perhaps even an outdoor party complete with clowns and ponies.  Well, we can have one too.  But perhaps on a much smaller scale so that you don't tire yourself out.  Invite just the closest friends and family, those who really care.  Order pizza delivery, or takeaway a bucket of KFC.  Serve boxed drinks instead of fresh cocktails. And most importantly, make it clear to the guests that if you need to lie down halfway through the party, well... you just have to.

Other mommies are probably having their pregnancy glamour shots taken as well.  Outdoors, at the beach, the local park, or some historical sites.  Well, we can arrange for everything to be done in the comfort of your home.  Lots of lying down and sitting down positions, of course.  After such a long time being at home, perhaps time to put on some make up and feel good about yourself.  Get your hairdresser to come to your home, or just buy one of those do it yourself hairstyling kits.  In the comfort of your home, you can have those pictures taken without having to feel self conscious about passing onlookers, and hubby may be at ease as well.  Don't forget your older children, of course.  And oh, you can have more intimate shots at home! Great, isn't it?

Other mommies are probably preparing the nursery - painting the room, setting up the crib, shopping in 5 different malls for all the beddings and baby stuff. You can do this too! Yes, through delegation. Hubby, a helpful relative, your older children, perhaps your BFF! And these days you can shop in the comfort of your home - online shopping is soooo totally in!!!!

Other mommies are probably indulging in their nesting instincts - well, you can afford to wait until fullterm - that is just another 4 weeks away. Wait there!

Other mommies are probably indulging in sex too - ok, 4 more weeks. Enough said.

Other mommies are probably obsessing about birth plans, names for the baby, signs of premature labour, pre eclampsia and all other hosts of concerns and excitement - take it easy.  I'm sure by now we all know how to do that, don't we?  We have been through much worse to get to this day.

Everything is about balance.  Now let us just wait it out. 4 more weeks.

WEEK 3 : Week by Week Incompetent Cervix Pregnancy Cervix Guide - APPREHENSION VS EXCITEMENT

NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 3, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents. Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 16 week old baking in the oven! :)  The purpose of this blog then is just to simply share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.

So, wasn't last week an exciting and um...  SEXY week?

So there is nothing much you can do this week except to wait. That 14-day wait can be tiresome, really.  Especially if you have fertility issues like me.  The knowledge of an incompetent cervix may even be so stressful that it adds to the 'bad hormones' that may prevent conception. Sigh... not easy being a woman, eh?  You look for every little symptom, every little sign that may point to early signs of pregnancy.  But we also know that signs of pregnancy mimic signs of PMS!!! ARGH!!!! Why doesn't it get easier?

Ok, so I found this website many years ago (remember the sitting on the toilet crying when period started? Read Week 2 here ). It was truly helpful (but believe me, only psychologically) in getting that dreaded 2 weeks to pass before you can actually go to the pharmacy and empty the shelves of pregnancy test kits! http://www.twoweekwait.com/    You will find yourself doing a lot of silly things during these 2 weeks, but don't worry, this website will assure you that there is no need to visit the psychiatric department just yet :)

Oh ya, one thing I learnt is,implantation bleeding is very real. All my pregnancies... I thought dear Aunty Flo has visited again... but turned out to be just implantation bleeding.  So watch out for that ladies, and don't panic nor fret when you see bleeding.  It may just be that.  Especially for those of us with an incompetent cervix... hey we don't dilate this early. No mucous plug whatsoever to worry about. If the little one has already been created, just give it a little time to travel to your uterus (it takes between 6 to 16 days I believe) and implant itself into the uterine wall. Continue to eat healthy, remember the folic acid, and wait for a while more....

You may want to continue your lovemaking sessions though... because you know what? With an incompetent cervix, you may be prescribed complete pelvic rest as well. Which means no sexual intercourse, no sexual stimulation whatsoever and definitely no orgasm! That would be a good 36 weeks of celibacy (ok, maybe you can still do it before Week 14 when your cerclage is due to be placed, and maybe after Week 37 after the cerclage is removed, but still..... 20 plus week of celibacy is no fun!)  Also, go enjoy shopping, kickboxing, carrying your toddler if you have one, and all those physical activities you may not be able to do anymore very soon.  If you haven't heard yet, bedrest is part and parcel of the life of a pregnant woman with an incompetent cervix.

Emotionally... of course if this is not your first pregnancy, you will have mixed feelings. Anticipation, fear, excitement, apprehension... if you have supportive friends and family of course things do get a LITTLE bit easier.  But if you have been listening to endless "One is enough" or "Why do you want to go through this again?" then well... be strong. You are not asking them to go through the pain with you. Neither are you asking them for any favours when you are bedresting.  They could be worried about your psychological as well as physical well being... but if only they knew how much you want to have this baby.. they will soon understand.  As for those who are simply irritating beings planted into this Planet, just ignore them.  In fact, when you do get pregnant, make sure they are the last to know! You don't need to share this good news with them, much less get any negative energy from these negative people!!!  Just stay close to hubby, he is the only one who is important in this journey other than yourself. And if you do have another little one (or two) at home running around, give him or her plenty of attention.. Perhaps a good time to go for a short holiday in Disneyland or Legoland, reassure him or her that mommy will always love him or her (or them) just the same. LOVE MULTIPLIES, NEVER DIVIDED.