NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 35, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 29 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
If you have not packed your hospital bag, now is REALLY the time to do so. After all, you are scheduled to have your cerclage removed only in 2 weeks' time and really, 2 weeks isn't a lot of time! Do bring it along with you when you have your cerclage removed, as you'd never know. But then again, if your home is nearby the hospital, then of course it's not a worry.
Ok, so what do you need in your hospital bag? If you are planning for a C-section, you will probably need to stay in the hospital up to 4 days after your baby is born, if not, perhaps give and take a day or 2. In any case, the essentials are :
For yourself :
1) Maternity pads (the bleeding is usually heavier than normal periods, so an overnight pad with wings and at least 28-34cm in length would be great)
2) About 2-3 pairs of warm socks (perhaps a pair which you wouldn't mind throwing away after labour - yup, use that pair for the messy delivery).
3) Disposable panties (really, you won't want to end up washing panties throughout your hospital stay, or a load of dirty panties to wash once you get home - you have a baby to look after after this, remember?)
4) 2-3 maternity bras (no underwires please, it will be rather painful once the milk comes in within 2-3 days after birth)
5) Toiletries and make up - lotsa vaginal wash, but then again, some hospitals provide 'cleaning services' the first few days. You will have a lot of visitors, and with Facebook pictures flying all over, and if you are a vainpot like me, you will want to look really nice in those pictures. I even brought my contact lenses along :)
6) Snacks - or you can just ask hubby to get them from the hospital
7) Cameras, video cameras (or the very handy smartphone which has everything - complete with a monopod for a selfie with baby) charger - ok you get it, the electronic gadgets
8) If you are like me, you would bring the journal too - I keep a journal each for my 2 boys, and intend to keep one for No.3 too, handwritten, to document the pains and aches and of course JOYS of the entire childbirth process... till they are about 2 to 3 years old. The waiting period during labour is a good time to start writing.
9) Going home clothes (ok you will not magically be back to your pre-pregnancy weight, so bring something sensible... like those clothes you were wearing when you were about 5 months pregnant)
10) Bath towels, slippers, breast pads, (no need for breastpump yet as the hospitals usually provide and you wouldn't be pumping so soon yet anyway) and anything else you think you may need to kill boredom - books? Well, your smartphone has everything!
11) Of course, documents - but get hubby to worry about this.
12) Oh ya, bring a long lots of energy, excitement and patience!
For the baby (ok, not all in the hospital bag, but some in your car):
1) 4 pairs of mittens/booties, rompers, diapers, hats, nappy rash cream - ok you get it.
2) Pacifier, baby bottles (frankly, if you a
re a staunch breast feeding believer like me, you won't need these stuff until a month or 2 after baby is born. Your breast is enough for now, both for pacifying and feeding purposes)
3) Car seat!!! (Some countries, like mine, do not make it compulsory. But please... there ARE reasons why some countries make it compulsory. So please, go get an approved one. This will be your best investment, yes, even a better investment than the expensive crib you installed in your extensively renovated nursery!)
4) Receiving blankets, blankets, anything else you can think of to keep the little one warm. Again, if you live in a hot tropical country like I do, there is really no need to go overboard (we are not facing winter are we? The cold is from your room aircond and car aircond! So before baby breaks into heat rash, please have mercy on the little one)
Ok, that's just the hospital bag. Have you actually prepared your birth plan yet? After the cerclage is removed (usually a transvaginal cerclage - please read Week 34 here) you will usually be allowed to go home after a few hours if you do not go into labour. You may intend to have a natural birth, and usually this is possible if your cervix dilates normally upon removal of stitch. However, it is quite common for women with a TVC to have a condition called cervical dystocia which is usually a side effect of the cerclage, where the cervix is unable to dilate and/or efface. With both my boys, I had to be induced with Pitocin, and even slightly longer labours, I was fully dilated and was able to deliver both babies naturally. With No.3 right now, my doctor did warn me that there are a lot of scar tissues and I may not be able to dilate this time around even with induction, but well... we'll see! A healthy baby is a healthy baby, natural or C-section!
So what other interventions may there be other than a possible induction? They always tell you that God will not give you more pain than you can handle, but then again Pitocin isn't exactly what God gave you right? From experience, I can tell you that no matter how high your pain threshold is, with induction, the pain may be more than you can handle. If that is the case, please do not hesitate to call for an epidural. If you are in too much distress from the pain, it is not good for the baby, and may cause fetal distress, or your blood pressure may shoot up, so yes be prepared to do that. Also, the possibility of forceps or vacuum - keep all that in mind. Both my babies were vacuumed. And of course don't forget the possible episiotomy too.
Whatever it is, take it as it comes - after all, we have been through so much up till now!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 34, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 27 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
Oh no... are the hourly toilet trips back? And you thought your boobies couldn't get any larger? YOU ARE WRONG!!! And oh... the perpetual hangover feeling is back. You are tired, eventhough the only activity you did whole day was to lie down on your back (or left side, as lying on the back causes breathlessness these days) and surf the internet. Welcome to the final lap of your pregnancy!
By this time, most of us would have been itching to get out of the house, and we probably already did. After all we are way past viability, and if you are having twins, you might even have your cerclage already removed! It feels like Independence Day! But for some of us, our doctors may still want us to be on full bedrest till baby is fullterm, and that is only 3 weeks away! Perhaps your doctor has already scheduled an appointment for stitch removal as well, and if that is so, you know that it's time to get all things ready because many of us IC mommies go into labour right after the stitch is removed. Besides, some of us may have gone into premature labour anyway, so an earlier removal is required as the last thing we need is to tear through the stitch. Well, it's all about striking a balance (Read Week 33Week 33 here)
If you had a TAC (transabdominal cerclage), the cerclage will probably be removed through abdominal incision as well. And commonly, your baby will be born via a C-section anyway, so perhaps your scheduled C-section won't be until 39 weeks. Or if you plan to have more kids, you may even want to leave your stitch in there. But if you have a TVC (transvaginal cerclage), then you will have to have it removed before you are able to deliver vaginally.
So what are the preparations like towards the DITCH THE STITCH DAY (DTSD)?
1) A few days before your scheduled DTSD, your doctor will probably need to check through ultrasound and perhaps physical examination the position of your baby, the growth of your baby and other factors before deciding whether or not to go ahead with stitch removal on the scheduled date. Sometimes, if the lungs of the baby are found not to be fully mature yet, the removal may be postponed for a few days or even few more weeks.
2) Once your doctor confirms that the DTSD will be as scheduled, then it's time to pack the hospital bag!
3) Always be mentally prepared that baby may come soon after (few hours maybe?) the stitch is removed. Some babies take more time, perhaps even past due date! With my 1st baby I had an emergency cerclage placed at 23w4d when I was already 2 cm dilated, and he came about 9 days after the cerclage was removed. With No. 2, it was a preventive cerclage at Week 14, and he didn't come by till due date itself!
4) Also continue to look out for signs of premature labour (before the DTSD, that is) as you may still tear through your stitch (it's still there, ladies!) and if you do go into premature labour, your cerclage will have to be immediately removed.
5) Have you prepared your birth plan? It's about time!
6) Have you actually made preparations for the arrival of a baby? Look, removing the stitch is almost as good as your scheduled C-section day! Except that baby may not come yet... you know, until... due date, or even after due date. But hey, please be totally prepared as this may be your last trip to the hospital before you come home with a little bundle of joy in your arms! After all, doctors usually remove the cerclage in the labour room!
7) Speaking of the labour room, usually the removal would be without any form of anaesthetic. So....
8) Ok, it's not that bad (but really, speaking from pure personal experience alone, both times, I could remember the cerclage removal pain more than labour itself! In any case, also be prepared that there may be plan B, if the doctor couldn't find the stitch due to scar tissues or other factors. It is rare, and usually the stitch removal is a simple outpatient procedure, where you just get ready to go home and wait for labour to start!
Yes, we are REALLY ALMOST THERE!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 33, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 25 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
As an IC mommy, it is easy to forget that pregnancy is way more than just a cervix that wouldn't stay closed, or a cervix which just isn't long enough. But at this stage of the pregnancy, it is time to start worrying about other things. And of course, to start revelling in the fact that you have come so far and you deserve a break. At the same time, we have to juggle between pushing it too far and to do all the things we hadn't been able to do when we were in the 'danger zone'. At 33 weeks, baby is still pretty much premature, and what we are trying to achieve is a full term pregnancy. Especially if we are carrying multiples, as our babies will be rather small at this point (read Week 32).
So how do we strike the balance?
Other mommies are probably having their baby showers now. Full blown, perhaps even an outdoor party complete with clowns and ponies. Well, we can have one too. But perhaps on a much smaller scale so that you don't tire yourself out. Invite just the closest friends and family, those who really care. Order pizza delivery, or takeaway a bucket of KFC. Serve boxed drinks instead of fresh cocktails. And most importantly, make it clear to the guests that if you need to lie down halfway through the party, well... you just have to.
Other mommies are probably having their pregnancy glamour shots taken as well. Outdoors, at the beach, the local park, or some historical sites. Well, we can arrange for everything to be done in the comfort of your home. Lots of lying down and sitting down positions, of course. After such a long time being at home, perhaps time to put on some make up and feel good about yourself. Get your hairdresser to come to your home, or just buy one of those do it yourself hairstyling kits. In the comfort of your home, you can have those pictures taken without having to feel self conscious about passing onlookers, and hubby may be at ease as well. Don't forget your older children, of course. And oh, you can have more intimate shots at home! Great, isn't it?
Other mommies are probably preparing the nursery - painting the room, setting up the crib, shopping in 5 different malls for all the beddings and baby stuff. You can do this too! Yes, through delegation. Hubby, a helpful relative, your older children, perhaps your BFF! And these days you can shop in the comfort of your home - online shopping is soooo totally in!!!!
Other mommies are probably indulging in their nesting instincts - well, you can afford to wait until fullterm - that is just another 4 weeks away. Wait there!
Other mommies are probably indulging in sex too - ok, 4 more weeks. Enough said.
Other mommies are probably obsessing about birth plans, names for the baby, signs of premature labour, pre eclampsia and all other hosts of concerns and excitement - take it easy. I'm sure by now we all know how to do that, don't we? We have been through much worse to get to this day.
Everything is about balance. Now let us just wait it out. 4 more weeks.
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 32, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 25 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
Your baby is filling out. There is not enough room anymore for those early somersaulting and kickboxing sessions he/she was having, so don't freak if baby does not seem to be as active as he/she used to be. He/she probably still is, but not the sort of movements you have been accustomed to few weeks ago. Cheer up! Less room means more of baby! Now is truly the time to enjoy your pregnancy now that the danger zone is over and done with! (Read Week 31 here)
For most of us, our doctor has probably eased up on the strict bedrest we have endured the last few months, probably since our transvaginal cerclage was placed at Week 14. For some of us, this may just be the beginning, especially for those of us who have just been diagnosed with an incompetent cervix without any cerclage - now you are in danger of a preterm labour, and at 32 weeks, eventhough baby has a good chance of survival, he/she is still pretty premature.
If you have just been diagnosed, first of all, take a deep sigh of relief as you are past viability (before 24 weeks, your baby had minimal chance of making it to smell the roses) but of course, it is scary as you are technically speaking only 8 months pregnant and suddenly you are faced with preterm labour. You may be prescribed with bedrest now, but again, take comfort in the fact that it is probably a couple more weeks, unlike most of us who have been doing bedrest the last 5 months or so. In the meantime, put your feet up and know that in a few weeks' time you will not have this luxury anymore for many many more years to come. Take it as a blessing, especially if you are the type who are perpetually on the go, multitasking throughout the day. Someone is trying to tell you to just take a break before little one comes along.
However, you may also be threathened with preterm labour at this point if you are having multiples. The fact that you are having multiples itself is considered high risk towards early labour. Coupled with an incompetent cervix, there is a chance that you may go into spontaneous rupture of membranes (your waterbag burst) at this point of your pregnancy.
Do look out for signs of premature labour, as your cerclage is probably still in, and you do not want to add to the complications but rupturing through your stitch. I have never had a multiple pregnancy so I will not know what are the other risks involved. But I'm sure it comes with other risks, but here let's discuss incompetent cervix.
In the first place, you would probably been advised against a transvaginal cerclage because there are studies that it may harm your multiples pregnancy. However, you may have had a TAC, but there is indeed an irony here : a TAC is usually done BEFORE you got pregnant, so you won't even know whether you are having multiples in the first place. Perhaps the only indication was if you had fertility treatment which often resulted in multiples. In any case, you are here now at 32 weeks, so let's just get on with it!
The normal progression of labour usually starts with contractions, which will in turn dilate our cervix, and as the contractions become more and more regular and closer in time, at some point, our waterbag will burst. However, with an incompetent cervix, especially withou a cerclage, we dilate even without regular contractions. In other words, we are probably not in labour yet, but dilation already happens, and more often than not, our waterbag burst way before we are in true labour. When this happens, if we have already carried to fullterm or like now... when we are 32 weeks... we will probably be induced to trigger true labour. Or in some cases, the doctor may still want to keep the babies in for a few more days, even weeks.
For multiple pregnancies, your babies are probably much smaller than singletons, so your doctor may want to keep them in for a few more weeks. So you may even be hospitalised for the rest of the weeks till you are fullterm. Usually, that would mean :
- Twins: 37 weeks
- Triplets: 34 weeks
- Quadruplets: 32 weeks
At this point of your pregnancy, whether or not you are pregnant with singletons or multiples, you ought to be keeping a close tab of every signs and symptoms. Your body will always tell you if something is not right. And of course, keep the doctor's number handy. Also, you ought to be prepared by now about what to do and who to call if you need to rush to the ER. Perhaps time to pack the hospital bag if you haven't already! Happy waiting!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 31, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 24 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
We are almost there. 31 weeks is an achievement for IC mommies like us. But of course we still want a fullterm baby, as we know what complications may come with a preemie (Read more about a premature baby in Week 30). During these final weeks, we may start to have even more discharge, and there is more and more on our cervix as the little one puts on weight.
Finally perhaps we can start thinking about 'normal' stuff like prenatal classes, our birth plan, and maybe even names for the baby! Well, prenatal classes may not be possible if you are still on strict bedrest or even house arrest, but you can always read up or watch youtube videos to prepare yourself better. As for birth plan, well... can you believe that we can actually plan for our birth after months of worrying about going into premature labour! Ok, technically speaking we are still not fullterm yet, but at least we can see the light now and we can even decide things like : Epidural or no epidural? C-section or natural birth? Yes, if you have a transvaginal cerclage (TVC) you can have a natural birth after the stitch is removed. But with a TAC you will need to go through a C-section, usually on the same incision line as when you placed the TAC (read here for more info on the cerclage). One of the side effects of the TVC is that your cervix may not dilate as quickly as it should - in some cases it may not dilate at all (cervical dystocia). In such cases, you may need to be induced, but if it still doesn't work, you may need to mentally prepare yourself for a C-section after all. But we will discuss this further in the weeks to come.
On the emotional side, the bedrest should really be taking its toll now. After all, if you had been on strict bedrest since your cerclage was placed, (with a TAC you may not need to be on bedrest at all), you may be missing your mobility now. No matter how much you used to hate driving, you may actually miss it! You may even miss work, and your colleagues, even your nasty bosses and clients. If you are like me and you have 2 pregnancies through Christmas, you can only stare at all those pictures of malls with beautiful Christmas decorations and the night lights of the streets in the spirit of Christmas posted by your friends on Facebook. You will long to hit those malls with your credit cards (ok perhaps its a blessing after all, this bedrest thing). I mean, what better excuse than Christmas to shop? But then again, 1 or 2 missed Christmases to hold a darling baby in your arms... I wouldn't trade anything for that.
Fret not, really, 6 more weeks before you ditch the stitch. 6 weeks compared to the last 16 weeks or so which you have endured is nothing. If this is your 1st baby, remember that once the baby is born, you no longer have this luxury of just bumming around with the TV on and the tab on your tummy and dozens of historical romance novels at your bedside. No more luxury sleeping at any time of the day. And the reason you will look dishevelled is not because you are home and there is no need to dress up/make up for anyone, but it will be because you don't have time to and your baby is spitting up on you every hour!
Yes, start thinking about baby names. Make a list of names and its meanings and share with hubby when he gets home from work. Get your older children involved in choosing the name of their sibling. Also, you can start making a list of what to bring to the hospital during your stitch removal. Some women go into labour immediately after, some will carry to due date and even after. I had my 1st one about 10 days after the stitch was removed, and No.2 came by on his due date, about 3 weeks after the stitch removal. Go online and do some shopping for your nursery and baby's clothes, toiletries, feeding equipment etc... You may also want to consider - co-sleeping or baby in his/her own room? I co-sleep with both my children until No.1 turns 5 then he gets his own room. Easier if you breastfeed - they will somehow just learn to find their source of nutrition and you actually don't lose as much sleep!
You should be able to really start enjoying your pregnancy from now on. Yes, the risk is still there - but take comfort in the fact that your baby is past viability, and we deserve some peace of mind after such a long journey behind us. Look out for signs of preterm labour, but try not to obsess about it anymore. Your Braxton Hicks contractions may be more frequent now, but these are only practice contractions so don't worry. It shouldn't jeopardize your cerclage. If it bothers you a lot or if you are bleeding/spotting, you may want to check with your doctor. For me, a change of position or a hot shower usually helps.
You know, women in normal pregnancies are usually told to enjoy their pregnancies during their 2nd trimester, and that would be their 'honeymoon' period, as they are not big and clumsy yet. For us, well, we settle for 2nd best. This should be our 'honeymoon' period, since theirs happened during our most crucial weeks - when baby wasn't viable yet and when the cerclage may fail. Yes we may be as big as a whale by now, but we are strong mommies aren't we? We have survived through all those ordeal, of course we should be able to take on the weight gain and enjoy the pregnancy anyway!
Let's start counting down!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 30, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 23 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
It has been researched that babies born after 23 to 26 weeks of pregnancy have a 50% chance of survival. That is a good figure especially for some of us who had never carried that far before. Or those of us who did not know we had an incompetent cervix until it was already too late to have a cerclage placement. After 28 weeks, the little one has 80 to 90% chance of survival, and a normal healthy life subsequently. It is also more common for those carrying multiples to have premature babies, not to say some carry to fullterm with a cerclage intact.
Having said that, those who have had a preemie in an NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) will know better than to expect an easy road ahead. No matter what the statistics say, there is still the other 20 to 90% chance of something going terribly wrong, and the anxiety alone is enough to make us cringe at the thought of having a premature baby tied to tubes in the hospital for weeks, maybe months. Breastfeeding is practically impossible, and some of us are not even allowed to hold or touch our baby for fear of infection.
The severity of complications that may be involved either immediately after birth or later in life very much depend on the birth weight of the little one (read further http://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/preterm-delivery-premature-baby#1) and the neonatal care received. A lot of other factors will also determine the survival of a premature baby, and it is widely believed that baby girls are more likely to survive, as are singletons than multiples. One deciding factor is also whether the doctor had time to administer steroids before the birth to speed up lung development.
All mommies with a preemie will tell you the thing they look forward most is to bring baby back home - it is usually an indication that the doctor is confident that all is well from now on. Then of course the practical issues of looking for clothes and booties small enough for the little doll come into play. And mommies being mommies, some of us will stay up all night eventhough the little one is fast asleep as we just feel the compulsion of checking on his/her breathing every 5 minutes. Caring for a premature baby at home is sure to be different from caring for a fullterm baby, but it does not have to so gut wrenching. Get all the support you are offered, and ask all the questions you need to ask your specialist before you leave the hospital.
Yes it may not be the road we would have desired, but with an incompetent cervix, this is a possibility which we always have to consider. The possibility of having a preemie, that is. Many of us carry to term, of course, with proper care and preparation, but for those who don't trust in the statistics, and trust in God. And once baby is back home, treasure the homecoming, cherish the moments, perhaps even have that baby shower (Read Week 29 here) which you have planned earlier but had to cancel you went into labour before the party day. Baby is home.
But hey... if you are still happily pregnant, I'm sure you will be feeling more at ease now. Stitch is still there, you are back to running to the bathroom every half hour, and you are waddling around without being able to see your toes, but even if baby comes now, there is no longer the intense worry and anxiety you endured earlier when baby wasn't yet viable. Now just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and get those things which you haven't been able to get going the last few months... GOING! Yes, and I mean the crib, the nursery, the shopping, the nesting!
NOTE : For the regular advice on Week 29, I suppose there are hundreds of other websites to tell you how it
goes. This blog serves to supplement those sites, my personal favourites
being What To Expect, Baby Centre UK and Parents.
Do take note, however that I am not a professional physician, I
practise law for a living and the only thing I know about incompetent
cervix is through my own experience as a mother of 2 and a 23 week old
baking in the oven! :) The purpose of this blog then is just to simply
share the joys and heartaches, the blessings and curses, the sadness and
happiness and the disappointments and the pleasant surprises of our
journey as a mom with an incompetent cervix.
Now that we are past viability and in our 3rd trimester (Read Week 28 here), and the reality of finally having this beautiful rainbow in our arms is more imminent, should we finally shoot down the taboo and announce to the whole world about our pregnancy and start stocking up on the baby stuff? Some of us may want the news of our pregnancy be kept a secret still, maybe because we have suffered losses before and it would be easier to cope if we don't have a load of people asking us about our 'baby' or our 'pregnancy' should we lose this baby too.
Yes, this is one of the emotional upheavel that we have to deal with, which not many may understand. Many do not understand why we simply refuse to share such good news, or why do we have to make it such a big deal by keeping it such a hush hush. But oh, who would understand the feeling of renovating and decorating the entire nursery only to come back from the hospital without a living baby? Or the feeling of shopping for baby booties, rompers, diapers, towels, cute little hats only to have it hung meaninglessly in the closet for many more months to come? What about those thousands of pictures of your bump and ultrasound scan you uploaded onto your Facebook in the album titled "The New Addition to the Family!" How are we going to go through that again if it happens yet again?
One of the Jewish traditions is that we should not even have any items for the baby in the house before baby is born. For the traditional Chinese belief, the child should not be given a name yet, so go as far as not to even mention the gender of the baby. Friends and relatives should respect those who hold on to this belief and not buy gifts for the unborn baby just yet, or to enquire of the gender. On the other spectrum, many cultures hold baby showers to celebrate the arrival of the pending newcomer into the family. Many women take this opportunity to announce their pregnancies, and of course, to distract them from the pains of pregnancy. Others have more practical reasons, like receiving gifts for the baby before the arrival so that they know what do they already have to avoid duplicity when they shop for their baby.
Whatever beliefs, traditions or superstitions you may hold, you are still very uncertain at this point whether to start piling up on the diapers, and whether to start setting up the crib. Of course you are. You baby is still very premature at this point if he or she is born, and with an incompetent cervix, with or without a cerclage, only God knows what will happen tomorrow, or even the next minute.
For me, with No.1, I didn't know of my condition until after I started dilatting at Week 23. So of course the whole world knew about my pregnancy, I was hitting the gym 5 times a week 3 hours a day with my bump, and I practically announced to the world the moment the pee stick showed 2 lines. It was my 1st baby! But with No. 2, I was more cautious, eventhough I had a strong preventive cerclage in at Week 14. But I went on with my activities a month after my cerclage placement, so those who noticed... knew about my pregnancy. No. 3 (my current 23 weeker) is a totally different story. It is my 3rd stitch, and my cervix has been traumatised over and over, and I am allowed only bathroom and meal privileges - otherwise I'm off my feet. And home. Alone. I have only told family and closest friends of my pregnancy, and I do not intend to tell anyone else until the baby is safely in my arms. I need a lot of positive energy and support, and there is really no need to announce to those who may be snickering behind your backs saying "2 wasn't enough with that condition? or "Didn't she have that cervix thing? No.3? Serious?"
Whatever you may decide, it truly depends on how you FEEL. You don't have to feel obliged to anyone to hold a party or to tell them about your pregnancy. Hold the baby shower at Week 37 after your stitch is out if you want to!
